You might think that the most important people in your life are the ones you spend the most time with - your family, your co-workers, colleagues, and extended friendships. While it is true that those closest to you in proximity are important, they may not be the most important people in your life.
Depending on who is demanding the most attention, you may be pouring into people because of urgency rather than importance.
What does that mean?
There is a philosophy that says: twenty percent of people take up eighty percent of your time.
Twenty percent of people take up eighty percent of your time.
This may mean that you are giving your time and attention to people who demand it, instead of to the people who truly matter in the bigger scheme of things.
Some people are energy vampires who consistently suck the life out of you. They need constant attention and become disgruntled or angry when they don’t have your focus.They require so much that they seem important, but are they?
In some work situations, a customer or a boss may have very high expectations that require your time and energy resulting in less time for your family or your passions. (Been there, done that, lost all that time from my family but no more.)In each case, these people are taking a disproportionate amount of your time and ultimately, they aren’t the most important people in your life.
Fact: A key to nurturing important relationships is assessing who is important to you, which allows you to spend intentional time building and maintaining the closeness you want.
A key to nurturing important relationships is assessing who is important to you, which allows you to spend intentional time building and maintaining the closeness you want.
Here are three tips for determining the main relationships in your life and making the most of those bonds:
- Family First- Family is the foundation of our life. Building and maintaining positive and nurturing relationships is always a priority. Sometimes our other commitments drain us of our energy and time and family doesn’t get the attention they deserve. Even families who feel disconnected can usually trace the root of the issue back to neglecting the bond. Make your family a priority and measure the expectations of others against whether they will detract from essential family time.
- Watch out for drama- Dysfunction doesn’t always look crazy. Sometimes well-meaning people can be totally unaware of their impact. Protect yourself against personalities that drain you and bring drama into your life. Make space for the friendships and relationships that are healthiest and reciprocating. Disengage with people who demand too much attention in all the wrong ways and set clear boundaries when you are unable to eliminate someone who loves drama.
- Reciprocation is key- The people who matter most will likely be trying to connect with you as much as you are with them. Friendships and close relationships should be reciprocating and feel like a two-way street. If you feel you are chasing someone to get their attention, they are likely not a primary relationship. In the same way, if someone is trying hard to be in relationship with you and you simply don’t feel the chemistry or desire to pour into the connection, it is likely not a priority.