Optio's Special Mothers Day Gift - Woman Empowerment Movements The Venus Warriors Podcast - Liz Lima - Charlena Smith

How you can get so much further in life with an accountability partner


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In today’s Podcast, Ms. Liz Lima, together with a special guest, Ms. Charlena Smith discussed what accountability platform for women means, how it works and what it represents. Ms. Smith explained that this works by matching women to their best accountability partners, which oftentimes aren’t their best friends, as would women think.  This partner opens the hard truth, without sugar-coating the message, about situations and decisions and will hold the opposite party accountable to the goal they set. The platform introduces women from different walks of life to the persons who’ll help them grow into a more proactive, confident women they’re supposed to be and maximize their capabilities in honing a better society.

This project is like this huge algorithm simplified in a solid 12-week platform that serves as a personal blueprint. It’s multi-cultural and very diverse. Accountability Platform for Women was founded on an epiphany, as Ms. Smith shared a personal story about how her parents came about and how her constant self-discovery and experience communicating with Syrian and American women lead her to create such. She also shared how there aren't enough women in power in today’s set-up – how the voice of the society was and still is in patriarchal dominance.

In the blur of day-to-day activities, balancing career and being a mom and a wife, it’s so easy for women to take care of themselves last, putting everyone else first. Ms. Smith wrapped up the sharing by imparting a message of how important it is for women to truly find themselves and hold themselves accountable with every decision they make in life so that no matter what troubles may come their way, they won’t lose themselves. And this, exactly, is what Accountability Platform for Women aims to reestablish. Connecting with a partner somewhere in the globe that may help determine a better course of action in one’s life at the moment is life-changing. The whole experience opens women for more fulfilling personal growth. 

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JOIN THE VENUS WARRIORS CONVERSATION:

Optio’s special Mother’s Day gift!

Liz Lima:    

Well, thank you for coming back. Venus warriors. I have a very special guest today. It is another interview with a woman who has some pretty amazing things that she has gone through. And again, the reason why I have these amazing women is that they can share their story and to see if there's anything that you will resonate with because what they have gone through possibly you also may be going through right now. You never know. But that's the point of these because it's to share these stories. It's to spread the hope and the dream and belief that you can achieve what you want in life. So I will stop talking next. We have Charlene, correct? I said it right. Yes, that is correct. Good job. I want to make sure that I say it right because I know what it's like to have someone butcher your name.

Charlena Smith:

I know it, but people, it's so good versions of my name that come out of people's mouths. There's just sometimes so entertaining, right?

Liz Lima:    

First name's Elizabeth, but it's confusing because it's Elizabeth and everyone's like, is it a, is it Elizabet Beats? And I'm like, yeah, it's okay. Not a vegetable. Even though I love beets, let's, I do love you. So, okay. I know that we are in a coaching group together, which is phenomenal and that's how we met. But I did see a lot of your stuff, which is pretty impressive, but I want you to explain to our listeners, what business are you in right now? What are you doing right now?

Charlena Smith:

Sure. Um, so right now I run a guided accountability platform for women and what we do was be matched women to their best accountability partner, which is really funny because people get confused about this. They think it's going to be their best friend. It's like they're bestie and that is not the case. Your best accountability partner is be the person that tells you what you need to hear, not necessarily what you want to hear. And um, a lot of times we found that, uh, one of the biggest problems is we find our best friend to hold us accountable to some goal that we have and they let us lie, you know because they love you anyway. Um, so we actually have an algorithm that matches you and we have a 12 week framework that you can actually define your own blueprint because that's something else that we've found is that when you never really take space, especially as women in society right now, we never take space to define what our blueprint looks like, what our best life looks like, and we give you space to do that and then create goals based on that blueprint instead of something that has been handed to you.

Charlena Smith:

Wow.

Liz Lima:

Okay. You said Algorithm and I'm like, well, I know now this is some serious shit like algorithms. Okay.

Charlena Smith:

Yes. And it's so funny, we, I have so many coaches that are like, you know, never say the word algorithm. It's going to freak people out. I'm like, dude, we weren't titled that Algorithm. I'm going to say it all day.

Liz Lima:

So, uh, yeah. Bye. That's been

Charlena Smith:

Actually, this is the funniest story. Uh, he has a rocket scientist at NASA. He is exceptionally brilliant. Um, we are a family owned business and started small and uh, he wrote the algorithm, he's like literally like the Matrix. Like he walks around and just sees the algorithm and everything, you know, he's like super weird. One of those people that are, it's so funny cause I have a child that's exactly the same way and they're so smart. It's like you expect them not to be able to communicate in words. And I'm like, wow, you are so special. You can do both. Like you can see the math and you can see words and like, so yeah, he's super, super, super smarty pants and has designed and patented an algorithm that actually matches people. Oh, okay. So, okay. So let's talk about how the started then because I'm sure that you weren't like, you know, 15 and saying, I'm going to create this algorithm that's going to match people together.

Charlena Smith:

Right? Yeah. Yeah. No, no. Well, it's funny because we actually met on Eharmony, which it comes into the star story as well. It's so funny. We were matched by an algorithm, so it just comes full circle. But that isn't, has absolutely nothing to do with why we developed it. So, um, it's to make a very long story kind of shorter. Um, I in a past life wore way too many hats. I was all of the is for all of the people, um, female, white female person, daughter, you know, all the hats. Um, but I was the COO of a large and growing marketing company, which is of course a full time Gig. I was a full time professor at Towson University, which is one of the largest universities in the Maryland system. Highly respected university. And it was a Grad, a professor. Um, I had four undergrads and three masters under my belt and then a traditional Mba and phd full time at the same time because that makes sense.

Charlena Smith:

Right? But when you're a professor, they pay for you to go to school. Like so who can say no to that? Like I was a yes girl, right? I said yes to everything. If it was an opportunity, I said yes, I can. He handle it because you know, how do you say no to that? Um, so I was saying yes to everything and I had to really terrible back to back pregnancies and kept saying yes. And then it almost killed me. Like, it was just a dead stop. I was in the ICU for six months. I couldn't heal. Um, everything was almost taken from me. I should have died several times. I just kept my heart, kept on beating. My husband loves to say that he is so much more romantic than I am. He's like, your heart just didn't give out your hardest. So strong.

Charlena Smith:

And it is, it's so it's, it's like a romantic comedy but maybe less comedy. Um, so yeah, it was absolutely devastating. And to make, you know, to take that huge long critical time, you can literally work yourself to death. Like people had told me that I understood it in an in an academic sense, but to actually experience that was horrific. Um, and I was so sick that I couldn't have traditional medication. So this is, uh, another thing is very girl medical care system. Um, when I was sick before I would go to the doctor and say I'm sick, something's wrong. And they kept on telling me that it was meant, but it was psychosomatic and that I had body dysmorphia and, um, I was trying to make myself then at this point I was like, damn, to 95 pounds in five, 10. Um, it was absolutely ridiculous.

Charlena Smith:

I was like, I'm pretty sure I don't think that I'm fat, but I think that that's not the problem. But they convinced me that that's what the problem was. So I started taking Xanax to tank an elephant. Nothing. I mean, it's amazing what they can convince you to do because you're just so desperate for an answer and they're supposed to know. So just being an advocate for yourself really became present for me and learning that when I was in that situation. Um, so I decided that in those moments I was not going to let that happen to somebody else. Um, that if this could happen to me, it could literally happen to anyone because I was always the one that had her act together. I always knew, you know, collect all the group degrees, get all the c suites, do all the things, you know, teach, retire and work at the same time.

Charlena Smith:

Like everything. I could do everything all at once and juggle all the things and no, no, you cannot. No. And you should not. That's best the should that counts. Um, so what, when I, uh, I, I didn't die. That was great. I'm still here to talk about it, but I did have to go through a lot of PT. Like I had to learn to walk again, talk again, easy to get, swallow all of, all of the things. Like I had to learn to talk through a pap smear valve and my throat's like in the beginning, which is what we, I mean it was like deep, deep, deep cuts stuff. So when I got back to a, um, pretty functioning position like I could, I could exist and be in the world, um, everybody expected me even after this whole year of not dying and like, you know, this whole thing, it was like, well, you're just going to go back to working.

Charlena Smith:

Right? You're just going to go back and this is how messed up it is. I was actually like, well, should I? And I stopped myself and I was like, hell no. This is not what's happening right now. I literally took an entire year, I don't know if you're familiar with the word of the year concept where instead of making resolutions, you just declare one word. My word was B and I literally took an entire year and I've just existed. I didn't exist in the form of a mother. I didn't exist in the form of a wife. I didn't exist in the form of a daughter or as a COO or as a teacher or professor. I, I simply just be. Yup. And it was amazing. I grew more in that year than I did an all of the previous years combined. And that doesn't mean that I wasn't present for my children.

Charlena Smith:

Like we would sit there and just stare at each other, you know like that's what we would do. Like it, I had to gain their trust again because it's very much like an adopted like we just passed out on them. You know, we were just like, money was there one day and then she just wasn't the next. So there was a lot of growth that had to happen there. Um, but after that year of just being, I realized that we never allow space for one another. So I took what I knew, which is marketing and I started a nonprofit marketing firm. I always joke that I used to work for the devil and then I decided to work, you know, maybe a little for the devil book, the Good Guy, you know, like a Robin Hood kind of thing. And one of my clients was the IRC, the international rescue committee.

Charlena Smith:

And at the time politically we've had a ton of Syrian refugees coming into the Baltimore port and they were lost. They had no anybody who was completely unexpected. It was a war-torn region. They went from very affluent lifestyles to just being like barely making it here in tiny little boats. I mean, it was absolutely life changing does not begin to explain the situation that they were in. So, uh, we were tasked with managing communication and setting up a network for them to get involved. And I set up a network for a fluent women that were already established in the u s to connect with the Syrian women, mostly mothers, to bring them in and kind of bring them into the culture and bring them into feeling comfortable in rooted and just knowing what to do and how to work our medical system and our postal system and where to go for clothes and food.

Charlena Smith:

Um, and it was amazing, and this is, this is a little embarrassing to admit, but our, our intention was for the Americans to pour into the Syrians. What happened was totally the opposite. Oh my gosh. The American women were coming to us, completely changed, completely changed, like their entire worlds were opened up and they were aware of all these new possibilities that they never knew were there. They had been limit living bees, really sheltered lives, and their specific bubble. And they didn't know that other bubbles existed. And it was fascinating. So we thought, well, this is like a thing that, that is this a thing that can be bigger, like bigger than just refugees and you know, like what can we do with this? So we started testing it in a Beta level with other, just started randomly matching people. And what we found is that the link, the common link is not so much, um, what you have that's similar.

Charlena Smith:

It's your humanity. Our humanity binds us consistently. And in this and the Syrian example, we had some women that were politically very much against immigration, very much against refugee policies. And they somehow got tossed into this group of them. I mean, I'm like, you know, can you imagine? And then they have to host this Syrian mother, but then they see themselves in them and it changes them and they start to understand why the policies are on the other side. And it goes both ways. I mean, it went the opposite direction as well. Um, so it was just absolutely fascinating to see how positively changed these people aren't just the level of empathy that they were able to achieve. And right now our country is pretty divided and, and you know, I think we can all agree on that. And I've been an activist for most of my life and it always feels like, you know, two steps forward, four steps back. And with this particular structure, I was like, holy cow, we can actually create empathy and vulnerable conversations one at a time. I matching people through their humanity. So that is kind of how it bursts the whole thing. It's a very long story, but it all like intertwines together.

Liz Lima:

That is one story that I never thought would like, I made an algorithm because of this amazing like epiphany and humanity that you literally created, right? I mean, yeah, it's beautiful. It is beautiful. And it's, and I relate a bit, uh, my, I'm first generation American so my parents came here from Portugal and so, you know, for me, nothing where it was a, um, an of unfortunate state where they were in, right? I mean, this, that's devastating. And I don't understand. I can, I can imagine, but I don't understand what they went through. But I do understand what happens when you have cultures come together that right where literally you the best part. You thought that it would be the refugees, that we're going to have all this and understand and learn. And yet it was us that God slap in the face 150%.

Charlena Smith:

And it's so, it's, that's why when I tell that story, I'm like embarrassed by it because it's like one of those things that you don't know what you don't know. And I was living in my own organic bubble and then I was like, oh my gosh, this is an entire world that I'm not aware of. And it was such a gift to me to see that. And you know, it's embarrassing when you're just so blind about things and so ignorant to the possibility. Um, but then once that awareness is there, it's your responsibility to then take that and Stuart and into the world. Like if you know that and then you don't do anything with it, shame on you.

Liz Lima:

Absolutely. Like the this is what the reason why you, you know, you're, you had that entire experience is because you went through all of that, you healed from it. This entire beautiful thing happened from it. And now you're taking that and sharing it, you know, and are very, very small scale. It's something that, you know, we find that we love something simple, an amazing cup, you know, whatever it is. Right, right. And we're compelled to share because it affected us in some way, right? Yes. And we need, one of the things that I love about like this, we're on a zoom call, you know, we're, we're doing this call together and we didn't even know each other, but we know that we have a similar mission, right? Yes. And we, we put, we put judgment and thought and all of that aside, we get together. Now imagine now there's still of us with all these people right now. Imagine

Charlena Smith:

What we can do from here, right? Yes. I started in on some of your previous podcasts when you talk about when women band together, the power that that brings. And I was just like, yes, sister. Oh my gosh. Like our whole mission is to not, and I come, I'm definitely a feminist when there's no doubt about that. But there's so many negative connotations with that. Sometimes I have to convince my husband, sometimes it's not a bad thing. Um, and he's a wonderful man. Don't, don't play. I know it, you look statistically when women are in power and when women have the money and when men, women are making the key decisions for larger communities and governments, then the world is simply a better place. It's not a matter of um, you know, a point of view. It's just a fact. And there aren't enough women in power. There aren't enough women making the decisions and you know, our voice can only be loud enough if we're voicing it together. And I think absolutely. And I also believe that when we are voicing it together in a solution that we are doing right as opposed to battling all the time over and over again.

Charlena Smith:

Yeah. So, so like we're speaking together in a solution. So the women are banding together and voicing that. I agree. 100% I think it's unbelievable. Yes. I think that's when you really see significant change and significant movement forward is instead of just arguing about things and being stuck in what makes us different. When you joined by by again, our humanity is that finds us and we move forward. Everyone has the same goals at the root of it, you know, the execution sometimes is a little bit different. And when we decide to agree on things and move forward on the things that we agree on, powerful things happening. Yeah, absolutely. So, okay, so that who, who do you see, um, within your, within your, Your Business, the service that you give this accountability, who do you, who do you see come through? Is it, is it the same type of woman?

Charlena Smith:

Like what do you see? It's such a good question. We have, um, when mark click creating our ideal client Avatar, you know, I mean everybody does this and business. Um, every time we narrow it down and we think we have it down to like this one particular kind of person, it just blows us out of the water. And what we found is that really at the courts psychic graphic elements, it's growth-minded women, women that are open to growing, women that are open to change. Um, and what's really interesting is that it's, they don't have to necessarily be in that growth from yet, but they have to know somebody that has grown so they can see the change. You can only dream of what's possible if you've seen it happen before. It's very difficult to dream of things that you haven't seen happen. So we really go after these growth-minded women that are interested in improving not only their own lines.

Charlena Smith:

A lot of times that I, we we're talking like we have like CEOs of really, really like, you know, very top companies. And then we have women that are stay at home moms and have, have not been to school. And then we have, we have, we have people that choose to go from one to the other. You know, you have like what your blueprint doesn't look like the person next to you, their blueprint. And the idea of deciding and designing your own kind of blows a lot of people's minds certainly blew mine. Um, I realized that I was living out, my family is blueprint is a fan. It was a blueprint that was handed to me that I was living because I was told to and it seemed right. And then the idea of redesigning it, I was like, what that means I'm not going to be letting down the entire universe like around me. And I use a little bit of letting down, you know, like my, my parents still are like, are you sure you had a job? Like parents?

Charlena Smith:

And I'm like, yes, it's a job. You know? And it's just so funny. It's just the reeducation and it, and we just find my love, you know, that's really what brings us together. But the women that joined her all over the place, they are usually looking for growth in some capacity or clarity about their life's purpose and their life's mission because we give them space to define that. And then what happens is once they get in, they love, they love it so much that they keep on creating these new, greater goals. And it's just absolutely humbling to witness. We have, um, one woman specifically who just opened a equity advocate kits in New York City about that get redistributing food to all of the boroughs that don't have any fresh produce. You just literally fed all of New York City through one 12 week program. I mean, that's amazing. She did, she went to the hill, she went to DC and pass. Bill started a five o one c three, all of this out of just, you know, her passion and her heart for, for feeding this population. It's just absolutely inspiring to me.

Liz Lima:

It's, it's, you know, it's, um, okay. The women that, that, that go through this with you, right? They, they, they went through something, right? Like you are, or they, the, the growth, right? They've seen it or whatever. And I love this because everything that you said, and we're definitely going to go into your, your backstory because there's stuff in there. I know there's stuff in that, but, um, like example, like I said before, when we go through something, we heal and then we're just compelled to help others, right? Like, like you did and you saw this, this thing could be created and then you're helping others do the same. It's, it's wonderful because we're already on this page. Like we're on this path. We've, we've gone through this big, I mean, we're always learning, right? And involving, right? But we've done that big hurdle. We went through this massive self. I hate seeing self development, but you know what I mean? Like we went learning, right? And everyone. And so my mission right is right before where we used to be. It's that woman right there who may gotten the degree

Charlena Smith:

And the house and the kids and the family and, and worked in the end, no, it can do and has the strength and then all of a sudden they wake up and they're like, oh my God, is this, what is this? What I did is this every day. Like, okay, miss you. I mean, I think we're like soul sisters at some 0.3 I have three bachelors, three masters, and then every certification you can think of. Right, right. Keep track of with wallpaper, like my entire, then they send you a picture. All these beautiful framed expensive debt on my wall. It's gorgeous.

Charlena Smith:

And it's like, okay, so, so we finally learned that it's, yes, you can change. Like you said, you let down. Right? My parents, oh my God, God bless them. Like they're like, you're going to what? You have all these science things. She went to school for so long, you have so many scientists. I'm like, I know and that's great, but I can help more people this way. You know what I mean? So, so tell me then, was it because you felt that you had to become your own advocate? Was that really what got you to be here, to leave all of that? What do you think it was? So it's really interesting. It's actually kind of difficult to share. Um, and I'll be very open about it and I hope your audiences receptive. Um, when I was comfortable. Yeah, I am. I'm comfortable with sharing it.

Charlena Smith:

It's just, it's, I think it's hard to hear sometimes, especially for mothers. Um, when I was really, really sick, like, I mean we're talking like absolutely every organ had failed. I had acute respiratory distress, Stress Syndrome. I looked down and literally there was a whole from my chest to my hips because I was too sick to put back together. So it was just a sponge inside of my stomach. And the nurses kept on coming in and I, I should have died multiple times and I didn't. And I actually formed great relationships with these nurses. This thing, it's amazing how life ways together. My son has a significant speech delay still. We had to learn sign language as a family. So I was able to sign to the nurses cause I was intubated. That's the only way I could communicate. Well you were amazing. Thank goodness for that.

Charlena Smith:

Um, but we had developed this relationship and they were like, you have to pull it, you have to pull through for your kids. You know, you have to do it for your kids. And I literally at one point signed to them. I was like, do not mention my children again, like don't mention I am doing this for me. I can't do this for them. Like I am not advocating for them right now. I am advocating for me. I want to live for me because I am not done yet and it doesn't. It doesn't hinge on them and my husband, God bless him, he was there right next to me the whole time, but it wasn't for him either. It was for me like I wasn't done and that realizing that in that moment that I had been living this entire life that was designed for me, that was not the one I chose, but just the one that I fell into.

Charlena Smith:

It was great life. It was a wonderful life, but I didn't choose it. It didn't, it didn't fulfill me in the ways that I, I know I was capable of being fulfilled and in that moment I was like, no, no, this isn't about them. It's like this internal like you and your maker and the universe and we're going to pull through this together. For me, like that is how this is going to happen. And that was truly a defining point. And I think that's something that's so important to me when I bring through optio too. But the guided accountability to these women especially, um, especially moms, especially people that collect degrees, you know, they, they live for things outside of themselves and that's not what it's about. So that was a really, really big moment for me, especially because I love my kids so much. I mean, I really do. And I, I grew up thinking my whole life was just, you know, have babies, be happy, you know, and then I had these babies and I was like, I don't care about those babies. I need to live for me. Like that was a really hard thing to experience, but very empowering.

Liz Lima:

Absolutely. It's, and you know, and you're absolutely right when, when you said, you know, you hope that people would be open to hearing it because this is something, this is God, we could talk for hours. So this is something about, um, I love my children. I have two children. I thought, I'll be honest with you, I thought I was never going to have kids ever. Like it was me. It's the me show. I'm going to do everything. I'm going to get every degree, conquer the world, build an empire of what I don't know. Right? And then I have these two amazing children. I love that. I love them. I love my kids very, very, very much. But I remember when I had my son the first time, well, the first time I only had them once, obviously my son literally in like three days, it like everything crashed on top of me. And I was like, oh my God,

Charlena Smith:

I am. I never going to be me again. Like literally. Right.Liz Lima: 25:44 And then it happened again with my daughter and I was like, wait a minute. What does like, and that was, and I'm sure a lot of women go through this, but yet they may not talk about it, right? You may love your spouse, your children, your pets, whatever it is. But if you don't take care of yourself first,

Charlena Smith:

what's the point? Doesn't matter. You end up in the ICU.

Liz Lima:

If I'm on an airplane, why do you think they tell me to put my damn mask on first? Because if I passed out, nobody's going to help them.

Charlena Smith:

Yes, that's exactly right. And it's, it's such a message I think in our culture that we don't receive. It's like you just have to put, especially as women, um, I mean we go through, we have to constantly, every quarter with my husband and I, we have to go through these patterns and reestablishing things so that he's the point of contact because our entire culture assumes that if there's a problem at school, they call me if there's a problem, you know, the doctor calls me and I'm like, it could, could we share the cognitive load a little bit? Just a little bit. And it's not him. It's not him. He's willing to do that. It's society that won't let him, and it pisses me off. So I'm like, we're constantly reestablishing those boundaries and, and you know that that's a challenge that we're willing to take on, but it's certainly something that is pushed on us and we have to fight it.

Charlena Smith:

So if you're not intentionally carving out space to be your own person, you will get lost. You absolutely either loss or you're going to be pushed into someone else's path and someone else's dream. And that's right. That's right. Exactly. Oh my God, I love this. This is awesome. That's exactly what happens. So, okay. So, um, how long have you been, have, has this been in function? So it started, um, and like we kind of, the idea was kind of born and probably about four, three or four years ago. And then we started testing about two years ago and now we've been in full blown save the world in mode for a little over a year now. And uh, just affecting, you know, women after women and we, we do intend to eventually possibly expand. But right now it's so hard. Like I love women. I really do. And I just feel like it's, it's where it's so funny because I'm surrounded by all these boys.

Spreaker 3:

Give me one girl,

Charlena Smith:

Are these babies? But yeah, if it's the way it's supposed to be because they are being most feminist, a little boys ever. I love it. Um, we go to all those judges and all that, and then they'll always the cubist, most little boys. Um, but uh, yeah, it's just is so, uh, we have been pretty successful. Our next launch we are actually scheduling for Mother's Day. Oh. Um, so yes, it's a huge gift giving opportunity for the people in your life that, um, can really be lifted up by something like this. Like if you have a mother or if you have our whole intention, we rescheduled our entire year because we realized what an incredible gift from others. This is what we're talking about, mothers loosened sounds, mothers do this, mothers do that. And what an incredible gift to be able to give that back to them.

Charlena Smith:

So we've restructured to take on mother's Day. Oh my God. Liz Lima: So then now, so this is online, so this is, we don't have to be in person, correct? Charlena Smith: Correct. Um, we actually have an entire, a scheduling APP that we designed that is a kind of keeps, so again, husband works in NASA government. They are like super secure on everything. He makes sense way to secure in my opinion. Um, but I would probably be way too loosey Goosey. But man, a scheduling APP, it takes for your, reads your calendar and reads your partner's calendar after that algorithm is made. We take that in incineration based on when you're available. Cause that that also is a, it's a key component of a perfect accountability partner is that you can meet at the same time. Right. So, um, then we match you up and it sends you a link and a private video conference line that has completely secure and you get to know one another and you can choose to be either private or open, um, about your identity.

Charlena Smith:

We can, we haven't really had, we've only had one person that wanted to be, um, kind of screamed out that they didn't want to be seen and that, and then they actually changed their mind because they were like, no, I want, I want to know them. Um, but that is an option. So, uh, it's, you know, it's all, we take privacy very seriously and you connect for the first hour kind of established who each other are and you meet once a week for 12 weeks. So for about 45 minutes a week on a conference call and it's scheduled into your calendar and all that good stuff. And you'll have a calendar that I'm trying to see if I have one more here. It's a calendar that goes along with you. There's a little bit of pre work that you do to assess where you are right now in life.

Charlena Smith:

It's kind of your life wheel, um, and where you want to be. So when you look at the difference there, sometimes your goals aren't exactly what you thought they might be. And it's like, it's a lot of people come in and they're like, well, I want to lose 10 pounds. And like, do you really know? Like, is that really your goal or do you want to, you know, said something. Um, so that's always, always a really fulfilling process to witness because people really weren't a lot about themselves. And, um, you take a really deep dive personality assessment, which is I love personality assessments. It's like kind of, uh, you know, it's just so fun for me. Um, I actually will send over a quick two question when you can do, we worked so hard on this, it's scary, accurate and it's only two questions. The one we do for the actual program is a lot longer, but, um, you get a personality assessment and it tells you very much about yourself and how you operate.

Charlena Smith:

Um, so, and this is one thing that we differ on from a lot of people. Most psychologists will tell you that your personality is hardwired, that it is not something that you can change and it's just something that you'd have to like, this is who you are and just deal with it. Um, we think that your personality is more something that you're wearing. Like, you know, this isn't season this, this year and you have the opportunity to change it if you want to, but you don't have to. It's serving you. So we've walked through that and how to notice those triggers. And there are certain ways that we react based on stimulus from outside that you know, you just have this automatic reaction. But as soon as you know that as soon as you know, that's the dance that's occurring over and over again, you can change the steps.

Charlena Smith:

Yes. If that's one of the things we talk about and we talk about how to best guide your partner, right. Cause you're, you're, you're um, partners best accountability partner and we explain a little bit about how they work and about how you work together and how you can bring the best to have in them and when to push them and when to maybe back off because they're being hard enough on themselves. Um, so those kinds of things, it's all woven into a 12 week program. And then at the end we do kind of an acknowledgement for your quarter and take a look at your goals and keep track of bills and roll them over into the next season if you choose.

Liz Lima:

Hmm. Oh my God, this sounds amazing. And it's really funny. Real quick, side note, you know how you said you met your husband on eharmony? I met my husband on hotornot.com. [inaudible] story I'm going to have to share at another time. So there were no personality tests there. Oh my gosh. So this is amazing. So then, um, I know I'm going to put all of this in the show notes, but how it first first, is there anything you feel that I, that I wasn't able to let you shine on? Was there something that you, that you really want to share that you'd be burning up inside that I didn't cover? 

Charlena Smith:

I don't think so. Maybe that just like, it makes a really great mother's Day gift. We do have a actual printed journal that we can send to you in time if you register. Um, that women really love to write things down and we have found statistically that people retain the knowledge better when they write things down and they're beautiful. They're just beautiful journal. Um, and they walk you through the whole process, the affirmation process, the life wheel, but deciding who you are, designing your own blueprint. All of those things. And then it has a daily tracker for meeting with your accountability partner as well. So those make really good mother's day gifts. We send it. Yeah,

Liz Lima:

In a bag. We send it already wrapped. Like you don't have to do a thing. Oh I love it. No. Okay, so we're okay. So where can I find that? My optio.org and I'm going to write all this down at, like I said in the show notes, so everyone listening, you'll be able to see this in the show notes and now, um, what if, what if someone says, you know what I think, I think this sounds really, really great. Like where can they go to just find out more info, start getting into the process. How should we guide people that's similar [inaudible] dot org awesome. My optio.org/quick-quiz

Charlena Smith:

Send to you is the two question quiz, which is just fun. Um, if you, and it's very, very easy to share on social and things like that. When you take your quiz and you see what kind of woman you are. Like I'm you know, a woman of July, I need share that and it's so creepy. Accurate sometimes. Like I actually have people that have emailed me and they're like, you actually take the data you use Google, don't you use Google on your scan? And I'm like, I swear we don't use Google.

Liz Lima:

It is a rocket scientist. Thank you. I know we don't need Google. No, everybody needs a good goal.

Charlena Smith:

Yeah. But it is a lot of fun and it's very shareable and it's a really good way to just take a first step and seeing what we're all about.

Liz Lima:

I love this. This was awesome. Well I'm going to have to definitely have you on again because then we could get into like more like topics that we'd like to talk about, like movements and things like that. So there's so many. I could talk for days and days and it's so funny. I'm just now starting. I am a of peace. So that

Charlena Smith:

Is my personality type, which means that I don't tend to love conflict except for when I'm really passionate about it. And then I can go for days. So it's going to take this to question. Thanks. See what I come up as I'm going to, I'm going to do, I probably might do a whole podcast on it. Oh, it's, it's interesting. Our personality, just as some background information for you. The personality assessment is a combination of the wisdom of the Enneagram, which is pre biblical. Um, that is a complete, a whole personality assessment that is just like from before Jesus was even, you know, you know. Anyway, um, then you have the big, the big five, which is a very scientific, um, like they're very scientific approach to personality assessments strength finders which is very individually based. And then also the four tendencies, which is very much an accountability process.

Charlena Smith:

So we actually Whoa, all of those into our personality assessment, which is how we give, you know, your best accountability partner along with times and time zones and your personality and religion. And we slowly stretch you. But we'd match a lot of those those first. So it's pretty, and it's pretty awesome. Yeah, this is amazing. Well, thank you so much. Like I think this was fabulous. I thank you so much for having me and giving me the opportunity. This is such an amazing platform. I am so excited to see where it goes, and like all the women that you're going to be talking to you, oh my gosh. It's just gives me goosebumps when we're making it happen. It's amazing. This is that. Well, thank you so much. I so appreciate you, and this was unbelievable. Thank you. Thank you.


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