Episode #23 A Survivor To A Thriver Transforming Mindset - Marian Bacol-Uba - Blog Post

A Survivor To A Thriver: Transforming Mindset with Marian Bacol-Uba


In today’s blog post, Liz Lima is with Marian Bacol-Uba, a TEDx and keynote speaker, conscious business coach, international bestselling author and the founder of Thriver Lifestyle. She creates programs that promote wellness and help people learn how to thrive - aiming to change the mindset of a survivor to a thriver. And in order for this mindset to come through, a conscious mind, body, and spirit for both their lives and businesses should be evident.

Through one’s own healing and transformation, better self-discoveries and noble causes spring from newly gained perspectives. A lot of us experience hardships at a different rate and time in our lives and it molds us into thinking that since we’ve survived such pain, we become survivors in unsung battles and silent wars. But this mindset might just not give us the strength we need to make the most of what we got from the ashes. Hence, the transformation of a survivor to a thriver mindset is a crucial imposition.

As a coach, Marian meets with different women in all walks of life who share complex stories about personal struggles and obstacles that they face upon putting up or managing businesses. In this regard, a coaching program that broadens the reach of impact that women want to convey to the society will serve as a stepping stone towards attracting more to entertain the vision of the mindset transformation from a survivor to a thriver, and essentially create a greater opportunity for more women to speak up.

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You can visit Marian’s website at http://www.marianbacoluba.com/  and enjoy more of her insights and real-time travels.

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JOIN THE VENUS WARRIORS CONVERSATION:

Liz Lima:

Welcome back. Venus Warriors today is another episode of our interviews with women who have done exceptionally exceptional things in their lives as well as conquered some of their challenges, obstacles have gone through their life and are now thriving in what they are doing with their business, their lives, et cetera. And so today I have Marian who has an incredible story, but before we get there, um, Marian, thank you for coming. I'm really, really grateful for having you on the show today.

Marian Bacol-Uba:

Thank you for having me, Liz. Like this is so amazing and I love how you said thriving that's actually the name of my business, Thriver lifestyle. So I love it. Thank you for having me.

Liz Lima:

See. Perfect. So then I'm going to shut up for a little bit and I'm gonna let you. Please let, let our listeners know. Okay. What is it that you do now, currently with your business and how you're serving people?

Marian Bacol-Uba:

Yes, so I served my thriver tribe and all those, I give value to a, I have a business called Thriver lifestyle, but within that I do coaching. Um, I am a keynote and motivational speaker. Next week I'm doing a Tedx talk, so I'll be official, a TEDX speaker, uh, by next week. And I also, um, work with corporates, corporations, and brands to create wellness programs to help people how to thrive. So it's sort of these, I have different revenue streams, but they all are really teaching people how to shift from operating in victim and survivor mode. Cause most people are and they don't even know it, um, into being a thriver, you know, uh, and thriving consciously in mind, body and spirit for both their lives and there businesses.

Liz Lima:

Well, okay. So that's pretty fascinating. Um, and how and, and how I set thrive. I'll be flat out honest with you. I have no idea why they came up. So that's pretty right. This is awesome. Um, okay, so, so I really liked how you said from survivor, right? Like, or victim, right? You said that people are probably working in that victim mindset, um, and, and don't realize it. And I agree with you 100% on that. Um, could you tell me a little bit of, like how, how did this come about? Like how did this idea come to you and made you get into this type of business?

Marian Bacol-Uba:

Yes. So, uh, through my own transformation from victim and survivor mode, and I was living in that for pretty much most of my life. So it really, this my work unfolded through my own healing and transformation. I did not even think that I would be doing this work. I knew I wanted to help people before and I, I had, you know, a long marketing career. You know, I was on that corporate path and really for most of my life I was actually living a double life. Um, ever since I could remember since I was a child because, uh, I checked off all the boxes, you know, I had to do, I got the good grades, um, excelled in, in college, did what I had to do, checked off all the bosses. But on the other side of it, since I was 14, I actually started abusing drugs and alcohol at a very early age to escape reality.

Marian Bacol-Uba:

You know, and people couldn't see it because I looked like I had everything together and I had good grades and all that stuff. But I did because I was the only time I could escape reality, numb my pain, um, because I was living in a home that was not loving or safe. Um, my father sexually abused me since I was 10 for many, many years, but I had to learn to suppress it because coming from an Asian American family, I'm told to never show any emotion as well as don't do anything that shames or embarrassed as the family, you know. So I kept that in and I was like, this is what I have to do. And so on the outside, I did all that. I had an amazing marketing career, uh, with the fancy title, with lots of money. And I grew up in LA, so I went to all the amazing Hollywood parties and the hills and all this stuff.

Marian Bacol-Uba:

But inside I was severely depressed, anxious, suffered from PTSD. Um, and I self medicated to try to like Numb, you know, whatever I was feeling to kind of like, okay, I need, I use it to actually normalize myself, you know, from the crazy thoughts and flashbacks. And that double life caught up with me in 2014 because I overdosed and I had an out of body near death experience that completely changed my life. And so after that experience, I knew I had to do something different. I didn't know what, but intuitively I knew I had to get out of their or else. I would go back into that cycle. So I bought a one way ticket and moved from LA to Miami was no job, no plan, barely any friends or money. I just knew I had to get away. Um, and it was really, here I live in Miami now it's been five years.

Marian Bacol-Uba:

Over five years. I decided to do things differently. I made different choices because my whole life I had chosen outside things to heal or to validate myself, whether it was work or accolades or achievements or relationships, substances, whatever it was. And here I started going inward. I literally dove into everything I could find on personal development, healing, um, wellness. I worked with different energy healers, Shamans, plant medicine, and I started meditating. And meditation was seriously such a game changer for me that I became a certified Pranayama and meditation teacher because I'm like, these are tools that we all have accessible to us regardless of age, background, income. Yet how come we're never taught this simple tools like our breath, just accessing the power of our breath. Yet, you know, people don't realize that. And so through my journey, I started realizing as I was healing and transforming that I had really been living in victim and survivor mode consciousness really.

Marian Bacol-Uba:

But I wanted to thrive and to break it down, victim, survivor and thriver, those are the three states of consciousness that we tend to operate in. And we can flow in and out of it, ending on each moment and what we choose. When you're in victim consciousness, you tend to, you give all your power away, you take no accountability for your actions. And you say things like, you know, it's not me, it's their fault or this always happens to me. Or why does this always happen to me? Nothing ever goes right. You know, when you're in survivor consciousness, which I was for most of my life and a lot of people who've gone through hardships and challenges tend to stick in this. And I used to think this was the top, you know, I was like I survived all that. But you harden, you know, you take some accountability but you don't want deeper connection so you put a wall up because you don't want to fail again or get hurt again or do all that.

Marian Bacol-Uba:

So we have a very competitive versus collaborative mentality. It's very like if I win you lose and vice versa, you know, and many overachievers. Cause I was like I said, I was like this, we use our achievements as our sort of like shield. You know, I checked off this, this, that, I'm okay. You know, and we say things like that, I don't need help. I'm good, I'm fine. I see that all the time. Um, and when you're in thrive on consciousness, this is when you truly take all your power back. You take full accountability for your thoughts, your words, your actions, and you realize that you are the beginning of the end. If you really, then when you tap into that, you realize the bigger picture and you realize that these are actually opportunities for us to grow, to learn, to evolve. Because life is about constant evolution.

Marian Bacol-Uba:

Our souls. We're here to learn and to evolve. And we start seeing the bigger picture instead of this little silo that we have. And we see collaboration and we see things through different eyes. We see the infinite possibilities and opportunities and abundance. And when things approach us now we say things like, okay, what is this trying to teach me? You know, what can I learn from this? Um, how can I shift my, what can I choose right now in this very moment to shift or redirect what I'm thinking or anything like that. You know, you take full accountability. And that was how I, and I sort talking about this. I started sharing my own experience talking about this. Um, I started writing articles, speaking on stages and really sharing because I felt like this is what I would've wanted to learn. And my business eventually grew. People started asking me, how did you do it? What can you do? So I started coaching and I started speaking. And that's how it just has organically grown to what it is now as it continues to grow.

Liz Lima:

See? And that's anyone, everyone has an experience, a story, everything right throughout their life. So, so a few things, um, a incredible story. Um, be thank you for being a thriver because that's, I mean, now you're able to, you healed your wounds and now you're able to help others that are going through that, right?

Marian Bacol-Uba:

And the seamless thrivers it's a continuous, that's why I created the thiver lifestyle. It's a continuous, um, opportunity for us to choose in moments, my moments because things happen in life and we can get set back to, oh my gosh, to the fear, to the victim and survivor mode. But when we thrived, we see we can start having the tools such as breath work and meditation and whatever it is that, that resonates with you. Journaling or being in nature that sh puts us back in the present to catch it and be like, no, I'm in control of this. You know, this is how I can redirect it. You know? And it's this constant, it's a choice that we all have to make.

Liz Lima:

Yep. Absolutely. And, and I loved how you said responsibility, right? The, the, the victim, they give away. They're giving away all their power. It really is taking responsibility for yourself. Everything in your life. Um, and, and you're right, everything that you're speaking about is when people become aware just one awareness and then they built from there and they grow from there. See all, that's unbelievable. I love that. That's exactly what it is about being here in this world is learning all the time. So then, so then when, how long have you been doing, so you moved to Miami and you did all this, this work, right? And then it was just starting organically like you did you just say, okay, this is the day I do this? Or was everything that you were learning started to spread just from you being you?

Marian Bacol-Uba:

Yes, from, from me being me. Um, I had always been in marketing. That was always my background. So when I moved here, you know, I had some marketing clients and I did this. I even did real estate, but it just didn't feel, um, in alignment and I still didn't know what I was supposed to do. I just continued sharing. You know what? I was learning the lessons for an inspirational quotes. People started asking me, do you want to be on my podcast? You want to talk about this? Um, do you want to teach this meditation class? And so that kind of like, it was like a seesaw. And this is what I tell everyone who's like, you know, what is my purpose? And it's always a question. I want to find it. And I tell them, you don't find your purpose. It's not some magical thing like in a treasure box that you go and you have to find, you know, and it's not one thing.

Marian Bacol-Uba:

It unfolds as you start just leaning in and taking action to the things that call to you, that spark joy, that light your soul on fire, you know, that give you goosebumps when you do it. And the more you lean into it, the more that unfolds and it can change. And you know, with how our life changes, um, it's fluid, you know, it's energy. And that's what happened. I just started leaning into it and during this thing and I was like, you know, maybe I should, people started telling me, do you coach? Do you do this? And I'm like, Hey, you know, I'll look into this. And it just has naturally unfolded to now. Um, definitely their structure. I'm like, okay, this is a business, you know. So there's definitely a, I've been able to bring in my business experience working in corporate, working with agencies. I had my own marketing company before and just now it's, it's sole strategy, you know, it's, it's blending the two together. Um, having one foot in the material in this physical world and knowing how we need to work. You know, what systems and business and one foot really in the spiritual tapped into source, tapped into the universe.

Liz Lima:

And so when you're talking about the leaning in, that must not have been easy. Was it easy? No.

Marian Bacol-Uba:

No. It's never easy.

Liz Lima:

No. So what were you feeling? So maybe explain that because I'm sure that a lot of, and for me, I mean the Venus Warrior movement is really, it's pretty much everything that you're saying. Like everyone right before that point, right? They, they all of a sudden, right? They've done everything. You and I are the same. We checked all those boxes. I have a full wall here of, of wallpaper of degrees, right? Because that's what we were supposed to do. And check the box, right? Check, check, check. And then you know, you, you've created this, this life, right? And, and we're and were very hard workers, right? And we've done this, this and that. But then they wake up one day and they're like, this is it.

Liz Lima:

Like, yeah, that's what I've created. And it's not saying that they want to, you know, they, they want to leave their spouses or their children. It's not that, it's that they're not fulfilled in what they've, they've gone right there. Like you're saying, like their purpose, there may or may not be in alignment. So what were you feeling then when, when explain that whole like leaning into it, because this is something that I'm sure is scaring the crap out of a lot of people, right? They met, I do recognize it. Maybe you can go into that a little bit.

Marian Bacol-Uba:

Sure. I think one of the themes, the best description that I could give is you just have this feeling you can't describe it. Admit it's disconnection. You feel disconnected to something, whether it's nature source, God, whatever you believe in. Just this, I mean it's like you've this feeling inside you like that you need to, there's something else, this disconnection, right? And so when you lean into it, it's a muscle. The more we lean into it, the stronger it gets. Just like intuition, just like patients, you know, all of these things. It is a muscle. So now because of, you know, I tried one thing and another and another, I have this muscle now. So now when I know that something is really scaring me or I get a lot of like negative thoughts, am I okay? This is actually one of those like, ah, I know that on the other side of it, cause I've done it already.

Marian Bacol-Uba:

It's been tried and true is something more so I look at that, you know, I look beyond it and I had this analogy of a glass door, you know, um, fear is really a glass door. It's not a wall in front of us. So we're on one side and this glass door that we don't even realize the glass door, but on the other side is all the possibilities of what could happen. You know, all the things that would happen to you because when you make a decision, usually when people try something new, if you don't try it, you know, and if they feel they're in the same position, they were, I think exchange. You're like, okay, you're in the same place, but the possibility of what can happen if you do take that step is like amazing and it's on the other side of the wall. And we just realized that we just need to open this glass door and just walk through, you know? And there's, it's just, it's not that it's easy, but that it's accessible to us. No. As long as we lean in and we take that action because it's physics, it's when you take action, you create momentum, you don't take action. Nothing happens, Law of attraction, everything is all with some with action.

Liz Lima:

That's a great analogy. I've, I might have to, um, you have to trademark that because I think I may use that. That is so, and it's so true, right? Because it is that, you know, or, or you know, possibly a, the possibility, some ideas. Right. Of, of, I want to do that, whatever it is, but you're scared, you're so scared, but you have a somewhat of a vision, something that you can see or, and, and you're just not opening the door. Oh, that's hard. Oh, I like that. Yeah. So what does it look like when you said you have multiple, you have multiple programs. What is one that, um, you may be focusing more on, um, maybe within the next quarter or anything like that? Is there one that is in particular?

Marian Bacol-Uba:

Yeah, so, um, I actually have, um, I help co-author a, a, a book that just went, uh, after four days of being released, uh, on the Amazon international bestseller list and my three categories. Wow. Unleash your voice. It was authored with me and 15 other women all over the world on, um, public speaking for women. And I truly believe that we all need to step up into our powers and share our story because we all have the ability once we share that with, you know, will help not just one person, but that one person we help out creates a conscious ripple effect. Right. It helps out their colleagues or family.

Marian Bacol-Uba:

Um, it helps heal like ancestral wounds and change future generations. Like we need to step up, but women are afraid. So the program that I'm actually creating, I have some, live events. Well, the launching a, an intensive and now online program is, um, unleash your voice, but passion, purpose and profit through public speaking. So how we can infuse all of these things while creating a business around it. Or utilizing public speaking to elevate our brand, to bring more clients to our business. Whatever it is that we need to do to like really get that story out.

Liz Lima:

That's, I love that. That's incredible. Um, you know, and it's, and with, with, throughout all these interviews and an incredible women, um, is that, you know, it's, it's almost like a, and for all of us especially, so for everyone listening, we met actually in a coaching program that we're in together right now for entrepreneurs that are, that are looking to have a broader reach because we've been able to impact so many lives with what we're doing and now we just want to be able to help more. And this is the, you know, the best platform this day and age. We can contact anyone, right. And touch anyone's lives for the better. So the thing that is crazy is that I feel, you know, the more that we share and open and help is that, you know, we went through, you went through like a really hard hitting moment in your life. Like, I mean, and this, this overdose that was like out of body experience, like near death experience and, and you know, it's, it's unfortunate that it seems like sometimes it has to go so far for us to have that moment. Right. And I think that was what you're doing and spreading this is that possibly you can help people right before anything like that can happen, right? If they're just cause we are a little bit right. Don't you feel that?

Marian Bacol-Uba:

Absolutely. And it's really finding that awareness. Like when people start hearing this and I'm like, oh my gosh, am I operating from victims? Survivor and thriver you never have even thought about that. It's like you're going, you know, you're driving down in your car going down this road. But unless you know, your gps tells you you're going the wrong way, you keep going that same direction because no one ever told you that you're going the wrong way or you know, so you really unaware. But once we start infusing consciousness and making conscious choices and really through all these different practices, um, we're able to take that step back and be like, oh, okay. And make different choices. And, you know, and this is why it's so important, uh, to just tap into ourselves. You know? And this is why I'm so passionate about teaching breath work and meditation and how simple it is. We have this tool in our bodies that we under utilize. Our breath is our gateway to our Pronto, our life force energy. It is the first thing that we take in when we come into this world. And the last thing that leaves us when we die, but we take it for granted.

Marian Bacol-Uba:

You know, um, and so I've been fused as in my talks, I've been fused as in working now. It's beautiful seeing the shift. There's a lot of corporate companies who are now open to it. I recently partnered and worked with um, a kind of mine who was a bank and we, they wanted to create mindfulness tools because money stresses people out. It puts them in survivor mode. You know, what tools can we give people so that they can start shifting from operating that way and being less overwhelmed and stressed out and anxious. And it's these tools.

Liz Lima:

That's very good because I see, and I'm curious actually, this is an opinion question. I'm curious if you see this. I believe and I see that things are really shifting like in the world and I think things are really shifting from like old big business to where it's, it's becoming more human again. Is that what you're seeing even if now you're having

Marian Bacol-Uba:

Because we all are feeling this disconnection. You know, there's, there's, we were starting to feel it collectively and when more people start waking up and realizing their own power and potential, it's like, oh my gosh, I haven't even tapped into this. You know, and it's a conscious ripple effect. Every time that we start making more conscious and aware of choices, we create a conscious ripple effect. You know, that goes on for infinite possibilities. Now imagine if more people started doing that and more and more and more like this is one change happens, but it all starts with you.

Liz Lima:

Absolutely. And you know what it is to, another thing about that, that's perfect because I had an attire episode where I talked about impact and people don't realize that they have an impact. Every single person has an impact. Every single you're doing right. Right now they have an impact whether for better or for worse, they still have an impact on their children, their spouse, their coach, their colleagues, all of that. So having these awesome conscious choices make such, you're right. Can you imagine if everyone is now aware and making like better choices what would be going on in this world? Yeah. Is there, is there anything you feel, is there anything that you feel that you would love to, to tell our listeners that may, I may not have touched upon, are covered upon us, that anything you'd like to share with them right now?

Marian Bacol-Uba:

Well, one, if you're listening to this, you're on the right path. You know, if you're doubting yourself, if you like having these fear Gremlins and what we call the Itty bitty shitty committee that's like, you know, napping, telling you certain things, you know, um, you're on the right path, you know, and just continue leaning in to those things that light you up to those things that, you know, um, spark joy in your life. You know? And if you're waiting for a sign, this is it that says, just continue to, to lean into it, you know? Um, yeah. And that's it. And just to be, so you have the choice, you have that power and the more you lean into it, the universe will actually bring more of these types of people. You know, you'll start aligning with the right opportunities and people that will help you to expand. You know, like, you know, I probably would not have crossed paths with you if I did not go through my own transformation and do all those things. Cause you know, at one point in my life I'll, I thought all of this stuff was really, I used to call meditation hippy Shit. Like that was my, no, no, I do all of that loud and proud.

Liz Lima:

Absolutely. I love it. Yeah.

Liz Lima:

And you know, it's true. Um, when you said that, uh, that this is the sign we are giving everybody permission right now. This is your permission. You can go ahead and finally like work on yourself, right? Like lean into it. Go and do what you, what you believe that you want to try. Right. Um,

Marian Bacol-Uba:

And just to take that one action, you know, we, we tend to look at like, oh my gosh, I need to climb Mount Everest, but forget, you know, the first step like I actually have, I've had clients tell me like, okay, I want to also like, you know, speak on Tedx, I want to speak on a tedx stage. Um, I want to get paid, you know, 10, 15, 20,000 for a talk. I'm like, that's amazing. And it's totally possible. Have you given a talk before? No. Like, all right, so baby steps first. Because if this opportunity landed in your lap right now, would you really be able to, to do this and deliver the way you really need to no! So we need to, it's so small steps whether it's, um, maybe right now if anyone had ever feel like they have a message. Do you want to share?

Marian Bacol-Uba:

You can write it down. Some people have never written their own stories. For me, it started with just writing it. I didn't know I was going to talk about this at all before, you know, I just wrote it down. It was for me, I wrote it all down. Um, and then I just started sharing. And then maybe when you're done writing, you share it with one person and another person, then maybe you share it on, um, do an IG story or IG live and share it there, you know, and then maybe share it with a local community meetup or an event and you know, it just, it grows and grows. And it's just these small steps that will eventually lead to the bigger thing right now.

Liz Lima:

Yeah. Just like you said, the action do one action and everything is going to start to align because if that's what you say, like, and that's the biggest thing about writing it down. Absolutely. Because some people don't even write down their goals at all. And so, and I, and I, I feel like sometimes, um, people may think, oh, the whole writing down goals thing, you know, like it's, it's almost like it's been, I don't want to say negative connotation, but it's been spoken about a lot. Right.

Marian Bacol-Uba:

Because it's true? There's like scientific group.

Liz Lima:

Exactly. I Agree. Absolutely.

Liz Lima:

And that's like, like you said, it's like step one because you're actually putting down what it is that you feel you want to do. Your physical, you wrote it out. There it is. It's open. And now if you and next is believing and doing, I love that. Oh, I love your mission. I love this. So how, how can we find out more about you? How can we find out how, what you're doing, where you're going next, that when the program's going to open, tell us.

Liz Lima:

Yeah. So I'm very active on Instagram at MBACOLUBA, I post tons of stories, IG lives. Um, I post and then you can find everything on my website, www.marianbacoluba.com, um, there's links to my podcast there. So my Thirver Lifestyle Podcast, I'm relaunching my youtube channel too. I'm used to be called Mondays with Marian. Now I'm relaunching it as Thriver TV. Um, so that's coming up soon. Um, and then if you stay in touch with me on Instagram, that's when I post a lot of things that are coming up. Any live events that I'm doing. Um, I do a live event in Miami. I just did one in LA and this fall I'm doing, um, in September in New York doing a Thriver Lifestyle Event. Yeah.

Liz Lima:

And uh, just for everyone listening, I am going to have all of us in the show notes so you don't have to worry. I'll have all the handles, all of the sites, all the links, everything there. Thank you so much. This was awesome.

Marian Bacol-Uba:

Thank you for having me in creating the space for this.

Liz Lima:

Absolutely. And keep, and everyone will have all the information and thank you so much and I'll see you all soon.

Marian Bacol-Uba:

​All right. Bye.

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