In today’s podcast, Liz Lima talks about training your mind to see the good in every situation. Brain training is such a powerful tool in overcoming a lot of troubled perspectives about life. But doing so is never easy. Liz encounters a number of women who find it hard to sustain this, and it challenges her to dive more into the mechanics, the know-hows of the brain training.
To dissect the process, first, you have to be aware when negative thoughts occupy your mind. When you catch yourself swimming into a pool of negativity, you have then to practice the art of calm, positive self-talk. Oftentimes it starts by giving yourself time to breathe and then reorganizing what it is you’re worried or concerned about. Brain training works best when the person doing it is fully aware that she’s entertaining these negative thoughts and yet doesn’t give it the power to control her.
When faced with such a scenario above, the next step would be to figure out something good that might come out of the situation. Anything at all, even the smallest of detail that could turn out to be good or benefits will do. This positivity wires your brain to hope for a positive outcome and weave your way through the struggle or difficulty.
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In this podcast, we also cover:
3:38 - Episodes of negativity
5:10 - Meeting new people in the project
7:15 - Perfectionism
8:13 - 30-day challenge10:01 - Workbook checklist
Pausing and recognizing the changes in your thoughts help in honing your self-awareness, which is essentially a goal of brain training. It is important to condition yourself into thinking that with everything that’s happening to you, you will learn something from it - regardless of what it is.
Check out these blogs for more:
I Am Enough: https://venuswarriors.com/2019/04/15/i-am-enough/
- Finding Your Inner Venus Warrior: https://venuswarriors.com/2019/04/08/finding-your-inner-venus-warrior-an-interview-with-domestic-violence-survivor-miki-sturges/
- What Is Mindfulness: https://venuswarriors.com/2019/04/01/what-is-mindfulness/
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Welcome back Venus Warriors. This is episode 24 and I'm covering the topic that I covered with some of my coaching clients about training your brain and someone had a really good point and I want to bring it to you right now. So in the group of women that I'm training right now, I had posted in our private group this quote that I really like. It's about training your mind to see the good in any situation and sounds great, right? We can talk and talk and talk and I can sit here and say a whole bunch of awesome quotes to you all day long, but you may not even know how to start or you might not even say . Okay, that's great. Liz. Train your mind to see the good in any situation. Sounds awesome. How the hell am I supposed to do that? So one of my women in my groups that I'm coaching, she actually says this isn't always easy.
So how did you train your mind? And I think it's great because sometimes when you are really good at something or you've overcome something and you've done it, you may forget that others have not done it right. You're already where you're at because you've already done all this, but someone who's just starting hasn't done this yet. So what I said to her is that in four steps, one, I become aware of the Times that I fell to the negative. So whenever I'm in a situation or thinking about myself and if I automatically went to the negative negative self talk saying I couldn't even do it before I even done it, maybe I was already saying that there's no way I could do this even though I haven't even tried yet. I would become aware of those situations. So anytime I would fall into a negative aspect whatsoever, I now train my brain to say, okay, wait a minute, I'm going into the negative.
And how did I train my brain to do that? Well, I read a lot of books. I had a lot of coaches and just you listening to this right now, you're aware that there will be times that you will go into the negative. So there you're now aware, which means that you now have opened your eyes and you cannot ignore it because now you'll realize and you'll notice, hmm, I think I am going in the negative. So that's one you're going to become aware the times that you do start falling onto the negative thoughts and speaking and all that stuff. And then the second step is dissect that situation, meaning, okay, when you are falling into the negative, now you're aware of it. Now look at why you're going into the negative for what is that episode? So are you always falling into the negative when it's something new that happens?
Or are you always falling into the negative when you're asked to do something at work that you haven't done yet? Are you always falling into the negative when someone says, Hey, let's go out to this new lounge that you've never gone to and you're like, oh, no way. There's no way I could ever go in there. Like what is the situation that you see yourself falling into the negative most often, so that'll be a theme if you're always falling into the negative, that is the same theme. Maybe it's at work where they are asking you to do something that you're not comfortable with or you think that you're not confident with. Is it going out into social situations? Whatever it is. Now you're going to say, okay, each time I've gone into this negative, it's this type of situation. So now you're aware you're going to the negative and you know what type of situation it is.
The third thing I do is I say to myself, okay, what is one thing? What is one good thing that can come out of this? Even the smallest thing, it doesn't matter. What's one good thing that could come out of this if I do it. So if I do try to tackle this new project that they gave on to me at work, what's one good thing that could come out of that one? You will possibly meet new people in the project, so that's pretty cool too. You'll meet new people that have different experiences that you have so you can learn from them. Three, you probably will learn something new and most likely you'll learn something new that then adds to your skillsets for you probably will achieve it and then show everyone that, wow, we could ask Sally to do this task and she probably figured it out and that she did an amazing job because she's proud of herself and her work.
Why I picked Sally? I have no idea. I don't even think I know as Sally. Do I know what Sally? Yeah, I think I know one Sally. So that's what I do. Any positive, any positive? Let's say it's going out to a new restaurant. What's one positive? You go to a new restaurant so you'll see something different than the same things that you always go to all the time too. You get to go out with a friend that you probably haven't seen in a long time and now you have great conversation. These are anything you get to wear shoes, they get. Husband bought you. This is a crazy story. So a good friend of mine, her husband came back from Portugal and he actually bought her a pair of shoes and let me tell you they are hot because I would love these pair of shoes because they are still at us and they're unbelievable.
And for those of you that know me, you know I love Stiletto. So there you go. You get to go out and you get to wear those shoes because you're probably not going to wear the shoes. Picking up the kids from school. And I totally was going to stop myself there because I do wear heels a lot and I do pick up my kids at school with heels on a lot anyways, and step forward is practice, practice, practice. I know you guys hear it all the time and you might be sick of it, but I'm sorry. I'm going to tell you what works. I'm not gonna tell you what you want to hear. If you want to hear something that you want to hear, you'll just go onto some other podcasts and listen to something that somebody will tell you because it's what you want to hear.
But it's not going to give you any damn goals achieved. I was going to go on a really bad rent, so I paused there. Apologies if there are children listening to this podcast while you're listening to it. Um, I like the term that practice makes permanent practice does not make perfect. There is no perfect. And so once we get over this idea of perfect and perfectionism and all of that, then we'll start doing things that we never thought we would even do in the first place. So practice makes permanent, which means that if you do this over and over and over again, it's going to become second nature. And that's how I trained my brain. But I did write this post, uh, about the aware part because again, a lot of people may not have the same definition of aware that I do. So I would like to read it to you because I really like the way that I wrote this and I'm a very, very massive critic about my own writing.
And yes, we talked about inner critics and I went through a whole 30 day challenge and I am getting better at this because this is one thing that I truly want to be good at. I want to be able to communicate because my book is coming out soon and I have to get over this idea of, you know, my writing's not good enough because I have a message to share and I want to share it because I've gone through all this crap and I don't want anyone else wasting two decades of their life trying to figure it out as well. So that's why I'm writing it. But I wrote this about the and when I speak about being aware and about you recognizing these things, whatever it is that's holding you back, these thoughts, these ideas, whatever it is that's holding you back from something, I need you to become fully aware of that I need you become fully aware of whatever that thing that it is.
And what I mean is, is that I want you to have true awareness by pausing and recognizing whatever that thing is. And you must become fully aware because now that you're learning about this, it will pop up in your mind where you say, oh, I remember Liz said that it's going to happen. Because once you open your eyes and once you become aware that you can't unsee things. So sorry, but it's for your benefit. And what I want you to do is I want you to say, hello. I want you to recognize this thing, this it, and I want you to say hello and I want you to say yes, asshole. I know you're here and I want you to sit right down next to me and I want to have a talk with you. Yup. That's what I want you to do. And that's how you recognize it.
You, I want you to be that close to it because that's being aware. is not shying away from it. Aware. It's not trying to close your eyes from it. Aware is not ignoring it. Aware is that it is there and you see it and that's good because once you're aware of it, then you can change it. You can fix it, you can get rid of it, you can mold it, you can do whatever you want to it because now you know it and it's there. And I'm saying this way as I want you to put it as like a a thing. Because if you knew that there was an asshole sitting next to you, you would be quite aware that there was an asshole sitting right next to you. So that's how I want you to be that close to it. You must be this close to it.
And that's what I mean by aware. So whenever I talk about recognizing or being aware of something, that's what I'm talking about. So I hope this helps. I know it's helped me massively and everything that I've been able to conquer, it took a long time. I don't want you to struggle with it. It's, it's something that takes work. It does. But what's, what's the, what's the downside of working at something? Nothing. Because you'll be better in one way or another. It doesn't matter. You're still working towards it. You're still doing something better for yourself so it doesn't matter. So with that, I want to tell you about the identity. A work book checklist I made. It's actually finding your identity. The whole point of it is finding your Venus warrior that's inside. It's a free checklist guide that I made. You can find it at venuswarriors.com/identity and it's just free download.
Go here, go there, get it, work through it, really work through it, go through the questions and answer them truthfully. Five minutes in one day could completely change your entire life. And I mean it serious. So thanks so much for being here. I appreciate all of you. If you think that this would help someone else in any way whatsoever, you know someone that is going through some challenge or anything in their life, share it, share the podcast, tell them that it can go right to Venuswarriors.com/podcast and they can go all the way back to the beginning episodes and they can even listen to the interviews of the women that I interview every Friday that I feel have found their Venus Warrior inside and have been able to conquer some limiting beliefs or some really bad challenges. And it might be something that you're going through it with someone else's going through and then you can learn for them. So thanks so much and I'll see you guys next week. Bye.