Episode #26 The hidden dangers of comparing yourself to others - Liz Lima - Blog Post

Episode #26 | The hidden dangers of comparing yourself to others

Point of Comparison: You vs. A Better You

Venus Warriors is a movement that helps women recognize their strength, passion, and purpose and in return empower more women to speak their minds and actually be who they want to be. This covers all aspects in life - family, career, love, health, and entrepreneurship.

In today’s Podcast, Liz Lima talks about point of comparison between oneself and another. Sometimes, or in most times in our lives, we do things we are so passionate about and think that we’ve done our ultimate best only to end up with a failure. It’s a complete bummer to see your hard work go unnoticed and unappreciated. However, all these struggles are just stepping stones to a bigger picture. If you ever find yourself in moments where you feel so drained of doing things over and over again, remind yourself that the feeling of exhaustion is a sign that you’re doing something worth your time and that someday all the efforts will pay off. Some people may take days, some months, and most take years. Patience and dedication comes hand in hand in all the preparations.

Venus Warriors - Woman Empowerment Movement - Ultimate Guide - Liz Lima

How To Find Your Inner Venus Warrior!

Tell me where to send this guide and I'll email it to you right away!

This guide can help you find your inner venus warrior.

In this podcast, we also cover:

4:45 - Point of comparison

5:30 - Highest quality of questions

5:53 - Being the judge of our own work

7:00 - Responsibility to create

9:19 - Differences with people

11:14 - Envisioning your movement

If you have this great idea on your mind and you believe you can do it and show it to the world. There is beauty in a point of comparison from a person to another. Yes, it is true that we must not let any criticism discourage us from pursuing our goals in life, but it is also helpful to listen to them and find insightful realizations from it. When we get criticized or be compared to another person who’s doing well, we must not think that we’re not good enough, but that we must create more and be better at it. Honing oneself is the whole point of reaching success and that there are always two sides to everything. At the end of the day, the best point of comparison one can make is between the you today and a better you tomorrow.

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Liz Lima:

How are you all doing? Thanks so much for watching. My name is Liz Lima and I am a venous warrior. If you have not heard yet of what a penis warrior is, I will post our mantra in the comments so you know exactly if this tribe is for you or not. But what I do is I actually help women find their purpose, their passion, bring it back out to life and help them achieve the end game, what they do in their life, all through entrepreneurship. So I'm a coach. I actually am going to launch something big, so keep up with what I'm doing. So you'll see it today. I want to talk about comparison. It was important what I was going through because it made a big difference in how I saw people comparing themselves to others. And I read the story, I made some notes.

Liz Lima:

I have to tell you, I read the story about Agnes de Mille and she is an amazing choreographer and dancer now. She actually wrote an entire ballet, choreographed herself, put it out there. One of them was called three versions in a devil and she thought it was her like perfect, absolute best, right? Her absolute best. She puts it out there and no one really cared. So that was a huge bummer, right? And then the next one she made was a ballet called Rodeo. And this one she thought again, was solid. It was on point. She worked so hard on it. She busted her ass forever. And again, nothing. So she goes and creates this musical, which I don't know how many people know this. I know it because I actually did dance routine to it and it was so embarrassing. But do you ever remember the musical Oklahoma?

Liz Lima:

It was in 1943 and this was her big hit. The point of this is that she worked so hard on the other two ballets and nothing came about them but this last work which she literally thought was just average was her absolute best work and the film of that musical won an academy award and you're like, well what the hell does that have to do with me list? This is what I'm going to tell you. She went and spoke with a woman who had, her name was Martha Graham, so Martha Graham, not many people know this unless they are dancers is a choreographer. That was so like an expert like Picasso in her work, and I have to read you this quote because this is what I to talk about. She said there is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique and if you block it, it will never exist through any of our medium and it will be lost.

Liz Lima:

The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor health valuable or how it compares with other expressions. It's your business to keep it yours clearly and directly and to keep the channel open so that it gives me chills. Do you know what that really means? What she's telling you is that whatever comes to you, if you have like this amazing idea and you know when you're, you're driving or walking or just sitting, meditating, whatever it is, and you have this amazing idea, that's something telling you, hey, like it's kind of like knocking you like, hey, you should do that. That's literally what it is. You're getting all of this information. This energy is flowing to you for a reason. You should not be blocking it, right? We are our own worst enemy. We get in our way all the time.

Liz Lima

How many times do you try to create something and you literally stop yourself serious? You probably start rationalizing, right? Your monkey mind starts talking. Now you're rationalizing, you're going back and forth and then to thought has gone right. You won't even let it come out to life, which sucks for a lot of us because you could have something that will save one person and that's all it would have mattered. So this is the point of comparison. My Day three in my master class, we go over a comparison a lot and in depth and each day has a a worksheet attached to it so that you can actually sit and think about and go through what these five major points of life like what is stopping you from achieving what you want in life. It does happen all the time. Like when you get these amazing ideas and then you stop yourself and it's like, why?

Liz Lima:

Right? Because we're insecure, we're insecure. We start to rationalize and you know the, the thing that you should be saying is yes, who are you to stop that idea? Who are you to block that from? Becoming real. That's what we should be asking, right? The what does it, the statement says the the best quality of life is through the best questions are the highest quality of questions you can ask. That's the question we should be asking. I'm not asking, you know, why should that ever happen? That's the wrong question. So the point is, is that we cannot be the judge of our own work. That's not the point. We are so hard on ourselves. Tell me how many times that you tried to come out with something to help your customers, to even try to launch something on your own. Or you have this great gift.

Liz Lima:

People ask you about crafting all the time or about social media marketing or whatever it is, and you help them. But God forbid, if you ever think that you could do that for real, for real, and make money off of that. Oh God no how, who am I to think that that's the wrong thought. You are not to be the judge of your creations. You are to create it. And then we'll be the judge because there is something for everyone. There's people out there that you think would never reach out or be involved in what you do. And then when they see, when you finally put out there what you're doing and they're reaching out to you saying, oh my God, this is great. I'm, I met with you so well. It's like you're speaking to me all the time. This is awesome. Now, Holy Hell, what if you never came out with it then what?

Liz Lima:

They'd still be stuck, right? And they would be complaining and then they can never get anywhere where they want to be because you were too judgemental on your own stuff. I'm guilty. Not Anymore, but I'm guilty. I was guilty. So it is your responsibility to create. It really is. If you have any little flick of a desire, I want you to create it because that is the reason you are here. Everything that is in your life, you've brought it to yourself. And if there's been something that, anything that you've always been thinking about over and over for years and years and years, and you may not see the opportunities in front of you because you're blocking them or you're, you're allowing yourself to be blind to them because you don't believe it. But then once you start to believe, then your eyes open and then you'll start to see these things and it's almost like they're falling into place one after the other, after the other.

Liz Lima:

It's really unbelievable. And tell me if that's ever, ever happened to you before because it's happened to me so many times, but the main point of this is that when the way that someone perceives what you do is a result of them, because whatever they perceive is because of what? It's what they've gone through in their life. It's been their experiences. I perceive things differently than you do because I have different experiences than you do. I have immigrant parents who came here legally in the 60s and had to work their fingers to the bone and a factory, even though they had the good life and Portugal like. So I have seen different things and I have a different perception on a lot of things. Like my father had a business degree in Portugal, but he comes here and they keep, they say he has nothing. So what does he do?

Liz Lima:

He doesn't bitch about it. He doesn't Moan about it. He works at a factory all day and then he gets his GED at night so we can get better pay for his family. So that's a huge different experience that I've been through than someone else. So it's not your job to to judge your work on how someone else is going to perceive it because we'll all going to perceive it differently. We are. And you can't control that. You can't control how someone perceives your work. And you've probably gone through this with some clients, some customers, some people you've helped, some friends, some acquaintances, coworkers. I'm sure you've seen this. You might get along with one coworker. So while you work on projects together, everything goes amazingly and you do the same work with someone else in a different department or even the same department and they just start like totally different page.

Liz Lima:

They have no idea what you're doing or they don't agree or this or that. And you did the same thing that you did with your other coworker, but now it's a different person. Does that make sense? So you cannot control their perceptions. You cannot control their tastes or the preferences. You can't control their expectations. Now I'm sure that we've all had that experience. We've all had it. Even if you have kids, you see it with one child reacts a different way than another child probably has the same exact experience, but there are differently. So the point is is that comparison sucks. Don't do it. It's not worth it because comparison itself is such a, um, I was going to say evil. It's such an evil thing. It's, it brings up animosity. It brings up all these crap feelings inside of you. When the only time I can say, the only time I can see comparison being somewhat positive, cause there's always a positive in something, right?

Liz Lima:

There's always the swing of the pendulum. It's, there's always two sides to everything. Or one. Yeah. One edge to the other edge is that a positive of comparison is that you put it where you're comparing yourself today as you were yesterday, where you're like, you know what, I did rock out today. I did amazing today. Or you know, I totally changed my life. I wanted this goal and I got it right, so that's good. That's a good comparison. And then this comparison to make you work or work a little harder or become a little more motivated where you say, okay, I see Tony Robbins on stage and I think he's amazing, but maybe he might be missing a little bit of the female population maybe, and I know I can't say maybe now because I know that you know what I'm going to thrive for that I'm going to be to make this movement march like that where it's women focused because we have a different view and we have a different life than men and we know that and we need to make this movement so that we can rise up together because when we're together we can achieve so much more than all of us separate.

Liz Lima:

But I really liked that story because it tells you that you have to create, if you have any idea in within you, please, please share it, bring it out. Because all, if you look at all the things in this world that we have, if they, if surrogate didn't make Google, if Steve Jobs didn't make apple, Microsoft, Bill Gates, Amazon like basis. Seriously Zappos, come on. Like where would our world be right now? Probably overthrown by Walmart because Sam Walton was going to make it with anybody who wanted it or not. Sorry, I digress. But please, please create so we can share in it and then we can achieve what we want in our lives. Whatever it is that you have to share. So please share this if you feel that it would help anyone else. And I want you, this is your homework because if you don't do something different and nothing's going to change right tomorrow or tonight or anytime between now, until tomorrow, at what time is it? See How many times you compare yourself to anything good or bad and don't lie about it. Write it down cause I want to know and then I want you to come back and put it in the comments. Awesome. Thanks so much. Share away. No, have a great night. Bye. This has been the venous warriors podcast.

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