Episode #35 - BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE - Liz Lima - Blog Post

Be The Change You Want To See with Sudiksha Joshi


In today’s blog post, I am with Sudiksha Joshi a learning advocate, who empowers youth to be the change that they would want to be. It is important to acknowledge that you need to be the change you want to see at home, in your workplace, and in a grander setting. Sudiksha Joshi help students be better at their career path and to fully recognize their capacity to do more in the tasks that they’re given and by doing so would understand their true calling. We all need the training and the education, but the answer will always lie within us.

At kindergarten we were always taught to color within the lines and not mess it up. At middle school, rankings in academic performances restrict our perception of what we can achieve and are capable of. We forget to question things and instead just follow whatever it is we are told. And we take it until we’re adults. We grew scared of failure, of thinking beyond and outside the box for fear of being different. We question our qualifications and capabilities. That is why empowerment is helpful. A lot of people need to know that there is still something we can do about this. That there are people who will help you recognize that you can and will be the change you want to see.

Venus Warriors - Woman Empowerment Movement - Ultimate Guide - Liz Lima

How To Find Your Inner Venus Warrior!

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This guide can help you find your inner venus warrior.

By taking time observing the society, your family, friends and colleagues, you’ll get to somehow pin-point where it started to get scary for you. Slowly, with the help of mentors, you’ll be able to make conscious efforts to overcome your struggles and finally be the change you want to see.

You can also visit her at: https://wearealwayslearning.com/

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Liz Lima:

Welcome back, Venus Warriors. Thank you so much for being here, for the special episodes that I have where I interview incredible,

Liz Lima:

Phenomenal women who I call them Venus Warriors. They may not take that wonderful term of title ship, but they have overcome a lot. They've, they've been through hell and back, but they've been able to succeed in achieving or going after what they really want to in their lives. So today I have another incredible woman that I met in one of my group coaching programs that we're going through together right now. Sudiksha,

Liz Lima:

Did I say it? She has an incredible name, but I do not want to mispronounce it and I feel very rude when I do that. So please you say your name correctly.

Sudiksha:

So my name is Sudiksha Joshi.

Liz Lima:

And first thank you for being here. I really appreciate it. We spoke the other day, which was amazing. I love what you're doing. So could you please explain to our listeners what it is that you do in your business currently and how you're helping people?

Sudiksha:

Okay, so I call myself a learning advocate. And my mission, so this is the hairy, scary, big, audacious mission is to help our youth and young at heart empower themselves so that they can think bigger and bolder in this time of incredible change and forged their own way forward and actually be the change. No. And so a lot of people, students, I work with clients that are students who are in the career but wanting to do more or thinking, okay, this probably was not my, is not my piece of cake. And where do I go to really, feel okay with where they are because there's so they're beating themselves down, they're discouraged and they're overwhelmed to really go back to their productive and curious self because they have the answers in them. Of course we need the Trini and education, but they have the answers in them.

Sudiksha:

But we've just been not taught how to think what we want. Right? So that's how I, that's what I do. I let them the space for them to think, what do I at want, ask themselves that question and give permission.

Liz Lima:

Right. So, and this is what, and I love this when we had our conversation, because I told you that it's like I went to school, received three bachelor's degrees and three masters and literally at one point I, it just became the norm to just go with whatever professor was saying at the time is what it was. And there was no questioning and I was a very questionable kid, but I lost all of that. Right. And that's what you were speaking about. So could you expand a little bit on who exactly? Like you've done a lot of speaking, you've done a lot of things already. So w what is it that you see a lot of in the people that you're helping right now?

Sudiksha:

Oh my gosh. Okay. So first off, I have my Phd, right? So I thought I was doing everything that I should be doing. But I went back of the mind, I all, I kept hearing that things are changing. Nobody told me what to do with that information, you know, so I just kept my head down and followed whatever I was told to do. Polish your resume. So I did right and I also did some other things, but which I'll get back to that. Well I was able to piece it together, but literally I was just following as trying to be that good student. Getting all the A's treaties. Right. And then after like during what I'm trying to finish my dissertation for my Phd, I realized that, okay, the professor said, okay, so the university usually the graduates go to, are finding success in this. Like if you apply to community colleges. And so I was, I was shooting for the stars and that like really discouraged me and I was burnt out.

Sudiksha:

So for me, the why was so important, but I had stopped myself, stopped asking myself that and then, the where and therefore the why that the professors, my mentors now were showing me I didn't like it and I didn't know what to do with that. So I was so lost and I see this everywhere. Now that I've talked to so many people online and offline, they want that one particular answer. What do I do? Want that one straight answer, but, and you're not going to like the answer I give to you because that doesn't speak to your heart. You want to do your own path, follow your own path, but you don't know what that is. So what I do is let that give you that space to really say, don't beat yourself. And then we're going to make a plan that really resonates with you because I can throw up so many ideas, but if it doesn't speak to your heart, you're not going to be, you're not going to follow it because you're tired of listening to everyone.

Liz Lima:

Yeah. And it's true that they just want an answer, right, isn't it? Do you, do you think, okay, so here's an opinion question. So do you feel that they just want a answer like the here, okay, here it is. Here's the path. Here you go. Do this, this and this because you think that we've been mold to do that.

Sudiksha:

Absolutely. Yeah. I, so one of the first things that happened was I saw this quick fix, copywriter become a copywriter. And I, that was the first course that I enrolled in, but I realized after starting that courses, you have to figure out how to find your own clients. And that's the whole elephant in the room. And I see people taking these courses and thinking, okay, now what do I do with it? They want step-by-step answers, but they also want to feel in control.

Sudiksha:

And that's because that's how we've been thought. That's how we've been programmed almost with whenever we said like, I want to be a doctor, so we've been told that you had to go through these are these degrees, these steps, and then you will get there. And you don't like what you see. Don't know what to do about it

Liz Lima:

Exactly. So then you go through all of that and they're like, oh really? That's what it is. Yeah. So you don't give him an answer, which I like. Can you say that I'm not going to give an answer because that we have to learn that we have to figure it out. Is that, is that along your ideas of how you help these people?

Sudiksha:

Oh my gosh, yes. First I did try to give them answers. Even like a lot of people since I started blogging and writing and putting my hands some out there, they say, how do I start writing?

Sudiksha:

And I give them the exact steps. They're not gonna take it because they have excuses. And, because we like, it's even if I give those the exact steps of do you want to write their own thing? But then it's like the ideas has have, have to be theirs. And when you're thinking, so what do I write about now? What about I don't have a degree in writing, you know, I have not written my whole life I want to. And they're taking themselves out of the picture once I show them the steps. So they have to see that, there is a way. So one of the first thing that I do is let them know that there is a different way of doing things, but it's a long way. It's not a short way. You cannot ask a baby to run a marathon the next day.

Sudiksha:

But that's what we are expecting ourselves to do. We want to make a change, but we want to do, we want that to happen like tomorrow. And I love that. I listened to this yesterday, in a podcast by Jane Shetty. It's because we, after being in this situation, like getting all the degrees and having the taste of job and money, steady paycheck, we don't want others to see us starting from scratch cause that hurts her ego. It's very hard.

Liz Lima:

Yeah. The Ego is, is not a friend really. I've learnt, my ego is not friendly because I am a scientist. If you look at all the expensive pieces of paper I have on my wall, I am a scientist and I'm not pursuing that. Right. I'm not that I'm a reinvention coach because of everything that I've gone through in my life, you know?

Liz Lima:

But that ego was really loud all the time. That was like, what are you doing? You're not that, what does that, you've done nothing for that. You have all of this and you should be doing this, right. A whole other thing.

Sudiksha:

Yeah. We've been trained, like think about it like a Phd. We've been, taught like, go with this, this, for this job. You're qualified, this job, you're under-qualified so you don't know what you're qualified, you know, and every major, every degree. That it's the same case. And it saddens me when I ask students like, college high school students or college students too, like really say, what do you really want to do? They're thinking in steps because they've been taught in steps. I'll go to this college and get this degree and maybe apply to this job with robbed ourselves of just maybe, you know, I can something today and it's going to lead us tomorrow.

Liz Lima:

And the other thing, and I'd like to know what you think about this is that it seems as though, you know, when we were kids, it was allowed, like I'm saying, young, it was allowed and expected and to try and do this and fail, right? Like walking, like you said, this baby's not going to walk and run a marathon tomorrow. It's not gonna happen. Right. But that was okay. And, we were encouraged to try a new sport and you'll get better at the sport. So we had all those things, but then all of a sudden when we become adults ourselves, we have to be an expert in next day. Do you see, have you seen that along with it, because I know when we spoke before you split, you said you spoken, you know, you help, a variety of ages. Do you see that a lot? Like, do you feel that, and I'm not sure how young you've, you've helped, but do you see a difference of like maybe resistance from the younger to the older?

Sudiksha:

Oh my gosh, the youngest would be like my daughter who's now eight. So from the time she was born, and I think the resistance in her started coming after she, when she started going to preschool.

Sudiksha:

One day I remember her coming to school, coming from preschool, crying saying she was afraid to go to kindergarten because her teacher had told her that once you get to kindergarten, you're supposed to be perfect. You have to learn how to draw inside the lines, color inside the lines.

Liz Lima:

Yeah. So now I can see where it, probably half of the anxiety comes from, from these little children. Wow. You know maybe we should have that on like resumes and applications. If you can call her in the lines and see if that really makes you have a better chance of getting whatever you want. That's awful. Oh my God. See, that's awful.

Sudiksha:

And thank God for Dr Seuss. Because sometimes so it's so hard because if a teacher tells you that it's hard to accept what your mother tells because she says, of course you love them, you're going to say this and thank God I have Dr Seuss books and now so many others.

Liz Lima:

Exactly. And that's it. But you know, now you bring up another point where, you know these, I don't want to say figurehead, but these personas, doctors, right? Teachers, professors, they even as adults we will put so much credibility in what say, without any thought of questioning Eddie and, and I, and I'm with you. I agree with you. Well, like you said with Dr Seuss and now other books. And I do see it now changing. I'm guilty. I was guilty as well, where I just, like I told you before, I just, everything that they said, I just, okay, well the person said it saying that. So that's gotta be true. And, and even with doctors and I, you know, I see like with my elderly parents, they may not even question what the doctor says because he's the doctor and I'm like, Nah, come on now. This is, we need to start questioning things, right. We used to, we do this with our friends and our colleagues, but we won't do it with someone that we consider to be. So I guess you say not professional, but much more knowledgeable maybe.

Liz Lima:

I'm sorry. Well, I'm not sorry that your daughter is your daughter because she has you

Sudiksha:

Yeah. But I feel for, and so there's, there's that, I tutored a four year old because of the Facebook post that was posted saying the mother said, oh, my daughter wrote in her diary that she is terrible at math. And so I usually don't tutor, but I said, I want to meet your child. And the first day she came in, she was good, but she was, as soon as she came into that she said, oh, you have a daughter, she must be really great at math. You know, she's already comparing. So she not being good at math. She was. But because others in the class are better probably. And that day when she went home, she told her mom that mom, my tutor said that I'm not bad math. And she did those problems. She was a totally different person.

Liz Lima:

Yes. And I love that because you were able to help at such a young age because it will be easier to change than opposed to like I know you and I, we've gone through this because we are where we are now, but we before Phd student, right, have no idea following what they say do this and that same thing here and how harder is it for an adult to be able to stop that nonsense of saying I'm not good at x, but when someone says yes you are, it's going to take a lot more times if somebody telling you yes you are than one person changing that, that complete dialogue in your head.

Sudiksha:

Oh my gosh. It took me like, I've often been this on this road for like five years now, but at first all I wanted to do was I have all this gift and experience. I want to help people see all I wanted wanting to do is give. But then what I really had to learn was how to receive and then when I started receiving help, asking out, asking people and really asking those tough questions. Yeah, I wouldn't be here if I wasn't. I didn't go through that pain and just, oh, from all, like where am I? Am I actually good enough? You know, all my degrees. Does it mean anything to having this resentment for my parents, for not showing me the way for the teachers, for should not showing me the way and that this realization that they helped the way they could.

Sudiksha:

And so if I want to lead a different way, then I have to stop the blame game and start to receive. So that's when the shift happened. I joined toastmasters because I wanted to talk to people like you. I am an introvert, but a lot of people say, Oh, you don't look very introverted right now because I'm still an introvert. It's just I have honed my skills. I have those, the confidence, and it's gotten by a lot of people believing in me and asking for help from me and also being willing to helped me.

Liz Lima:

Exactly. So you changed your story and you got those skills and see, so, but, and you said it was, it was a journey, right? So can you explain like when did you have, when did you start saying, okay, no, I really want to work because it was working on yourself, right? What can you explain when that, like the Aha moment of like, okay, I want to do this. This is what I gotta do. Okay.

Sudiksha:

So I think start with something way back when, before I, I'm originally from Nepal and I came here in assistant-ship and to get, get at that assistant-ship, which paid my tuition and a small stipend. Right. To get that, I had to give my GRE and to get that GRE because we had a roadblock. Then I walked for 10 hours get to the airport so I could get to the test center.

Sudiksha:

So I gave a recent talk on toastmasters and then that brought me back full circle. So that's why I went there because that was when I knew that I needed higher education and that was my life. I knew I wanted to help more people be more control. I saw myself as a consultant of consultant who would bring ideas together, affect more people. So that always there. But then I realized as I went through Grad school and everything, it became about becoming a professor and then I realized I don't want to be the professor teaching the same thing again again, but what is there, you know, and then got caught up with the dissertation. The three year thing became a seven year thing. And then luckily I found, started working for a program called McNair Scholars Program where I got to mentor Undergrad Students, or their kids Grad school and beyond.

Sudiksha:

They did independent research work. So I was mentoring them in writing their proposal. You know, their why of ideas to structure it. I realize I really was good at that from teaching students, like from helping students who were looking at the mural and trying to find their history too. Students who are doing cancer research and let's see this using gold as a catalyst. It didn't matter what subject they were and really was able to ask them the right question and help them like become more of themselves. They came and so unsure of their way forward to be like getting assistant-ship from multiple places. And that was from a lot and so I saw an amalgamation and then something else happened. Like there was a student who was a dancer and she was a psychology student and usually when we think of dance and say like she was supposed to go do a Phd.

Sudiksha:

Right. Sometimes you are asked if you're a good student, you are asked to let go of the extracurricular activities so that you can be a better student. That's just googling dance and psychology. And I saw that there was a program, a Phd program that studied dance and psychology. How dance helped like treat patients. I was like, Whoa, I, you know, it was like a new, there are new things happening that I didn't know about and I was so excited that got me through finishing my Phd. And then I left, I relocated to a new city then nobody was there to offer me a job. I have all this. I know I'm capable, but there was like a year of no full time job. I did get part time, contract position. That's when I started my blog, which is we are always learning.com and once you start writing you start reading more, you know, it went all over.

Sudiksha:

And then I wanted to be a copywriter, but then I didn't want to write all those copies just for the sake of it. And then I started asking myself these questions. I learned about the psychology, how, how we think, changes things, also how little I knew of the world. And then from this one online course to, you know, how you become a magnet for other people to market to you. Then I learned about this on a coaching thing and I, and the first thing it was about your mindset, what is this mindset? I had no clue. So once I started looking at myself and asking myself those top questions, there was like, I was in a total mess because I was questioning everything.

Sudiksha:

And then I started. But I also found these entrepreneurs online entrepreneurs like, Jennifer Polk, she is a Phd, but she's now a coach for other PhDs. That sense beyond the professor yet. I was like, oh, it's just not me. So just finding that connection. And then I found, Sasha Washburn, she calls herself the period coach and she is all about ending the taboos about menstruation. When she was young, and when she had started having periods or doctor had prescribed like every form of narcotics and she was asked to have a baby, you know, to just lessen the problems of a periods. And then it was like, oh, there's so much out there that, the traditional education system, the traditional professions have not covered.

Sudiksha:

And these were the people who were toughing it out. So seeing them tough it out and chart their own way versus the other people who are asking, Oh, who can give me a job? I had this degree. There was a whole totally different conversation and where do I want to go? Of course this way. So I started just being in their community, helping them how I could, and I realized that I want to help spread the message, but also because I'm so passionate about mentoring others, I wanted people to know that the current way of education system and their way of learning and being is not serving them to this changing environment.

Liz Lima:

Absolutely. And that's why I totally towards you and with the group, we have like 500 students. And when you posted your story I was like, Oh my God, I have stopped because that's exactly where I came from. Oh, and you're right. There's so much that we don't know. Right. And, and unless we have that, whatever that thing is inside that's either gnawing at us or yelling at us or whatever, right. That is like no in starts questioning and if you're open to it, right. That's when it just all it starts to open up. And you probably, and I'm sure that you, you probably like you said, when you, you knew you wanted to help in a bigger way and then, and then the, the part time jobs and then, then you started blogging. I'm sure you didn't have this process right where you're like, okay, I'm not going to get a job full time and then I'm going to get part time and then I'm going to do a blog. I'm sure it didn't happen that way, right?

Sudiksha:

No. It was just you practice what you preach. I know it's a lot of, now I have a system of going through it, but oh, and I have to tag. I did get a full time job. It was a contract position, but it was full time job as a data engineer. I have a degree in natural resource economics. I would have never thought I would get a job as a data engineer. So I had taught myself a little bit of coding and I, I'm very good at like the spatial GIS and they wanted that. So I was there at the right time at the right place. Here's another amazing thing that's very painful, but it was amazing for my growth is this was the first job which does not look anything in two years. The, it started like other jobs. If I left that job, somebody would come to that position and start almost similar to how I started.

Sudiksha:

But this data science that the data engineering, we went through servers, we went through, so many integrations, our team changed. We used from, we went from using one type of programming language to hold another to another in those two years. So in the first year I knew that this was not a good fit for me because the level of, you really need to love what you're doing if you're going to stay in that job. And I knew that because I didn't, I was not a developer. I was, I had taught myself so I am more analytical. And this was more about automation and understanding the different integration of things. And that was, that's not my forte. My Forte is about reaching out to people. And so, you know, there's this good student in you who wants to beat that. I wanted to get out of that, but by being a top performer, you know, but I knew that it was time to leave that.

Sudiksha:

But then that during that process I helped other people who are so good, they didn't believe in them, believe in themselves, that they went through this process. Like that became another testimonial. One of those, one of the, one of my friends I worked with, she saw me transition out of that job and I saw her transition into herself in that job. So it's, oh my gosh, okay. That, that always brings me chills because last time she sent me a testimonial saying that now I speak in a meeting room fearlessly and I just negotiated a $20,000 salary for myself and increase. And it didn't happen to just, I was, it was just for me, like I told you, like, I need that 10 hour trip back home to give that GRE because I knew there was something better and this is the first time after a long time I know that I was doing something for the better and that allowed me to say to my supervisor and my team lead at this work is not a good fit for me.

Sudiksha:

I told my husband that this is a tough decision we had. We had really struggled, right. And him having to go back to us having to go back to, one person, Pay check coming in household, having to sacrifice a lot of things. It was not easy, but I said, I just cannot, go on the way. I, we, I am going now. I have my feet in two boats and I was getting nowhere and my health was suffering, so, And it's been six months after leaving that job. And it's been the most exhilarating because I have to working partners who believe in me. We worked together twice a week and reaching out to so many new people. There are new opportunities that I never would have seen that with their and uh, and a lot of, so I'm working, one of the things I'm working on is a pilot project to make sure that another high school student doesn't graduate high school without understanding that they have to look into themselves first. They have to create this entrepreneurial mindset first.

Liz Lima:

Oh, that's awesome. I love that. That's amazing. So how, how can people out more about you? Where can they learn about, you maybe read some of your things where can they go for that?

Sudiksha:

A lot of the things are in my blog, my site, which is we are always learning.com. What, what a great website that I got. I've got to get, I hear everybody saying that. And on Facebook too, there is, https://wearealwayslearning.com/. We Always learning. And then on Instagram, this is Sudiksha Joshi. Twitter. And then I also have youtube channels Sudiksha Joshi where I interview others just like you were doing to me.

Liz Lima:

Yes. I think you have an incredible story and a great message. So that's why I wanted to share it. And it's not only, you know, when I have women come on this show, it's not only about, you know, their, you know, their amazing business idea.

Liz Lima:

It's the whole package of where they were and everything that they went through to become who they are now so that other women can see. Yes, it's possible. And it's being done by a lot of people. Right. Just like, just like with your mission for learning. Thank you so much.

Sudiksha:

Of course. And I wanted to come in here right now and not like a year later because I want this to be a checkpoint and this is like not the, I've done it all right. I've, accomplished everything, but there's more to go to. This is an agreed case that I want to share with you. And that happened because I allowed myself to put myself out there, the vulnerable, the raw version of me that got me here.

Liz Lima:

Absolutely. That's, and that's why people, it's, that's what it's about. It's going to be messy.

Liz Lima:

Don't worry about it. No one really cares really. It's like you just have to do it. I mean, and that's that and that is the struggle, right? That's, that's a struggle we have to pull people, you know, people have to learn that. They just have to put them also their selves out there if they want it bad enough. Right. Because there's people to support you in no matter what. Right. Well, I want to tell everyone that is listening that I will put all of your information in the show notes so they don't have to worry about spelling it or saying it correctly like me and that. But thank you so much. I really, really appreciate you coming on here and taking the time and being vulnerable, like you said, but you have accomplished so much and I want everyone to hear your story and how that they too can do the same.

Sudiksha:

Thank you.

Liz Lima:

You're welcome.

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