Episode #37 - How To Let Go Of Excess Baggages - Liz Lima - Blog Post

How To Let Go Of Excess Baggages with Lissette Larue


In today’s blog post, I am with Lissette Larue a licensed psychotherapist and counselor who is working with people who are getting over traumas of any type. Lissette Larue operate with her patients on how to let go of excess baggages. This encompasses helping women who want to let go of their wounds, old and unresolved issues, and painful stories in life. Knowing that you can have a shoulder to cry on, a person who is willing to listen to your every woes is somehow a game-changer.

Lissette Larue shared how her experience of standing up to her bully changed her life. After confronting the root cause of your anxiety, your fears and insecurities, things will begin to turn around for good. For some, it may take just a few months, for others, it takes years to even get the courage to speak up. There are a lot of tips on how to let go of excess baggages in life, but it varies from person to person. What’s important is the introspection we do in what really hurts us in the past and not allowing it to hamper our present and future relationships.

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Sometimes we think that we should be doing something significant everyday in order to account our progress. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Focusing on yourself, in the minor details of your habits, hobbies, passion, and interests would suffice. How to let go of the excess baggages in life should start with taking notice that you are a living being occupying an important space that could create a ripple impact on lives of those you touch. 

To know more about Lissette Larue, you can check her website at https://lissettelarue.com

Check out these blogs for more:

Liz Lima:

Hi Venus Warriors. This is our Friday edition of our interviews of a Venus Warriors. Thank you so much for coming back and listening to these incredible stories. And today I have an incredible woman here today that has an amazing story and I want her to share with you what she's gone through so that you understand that yes, we may have a dream or a goal and we want to go after it, but we think that, oh, I don't know. I don't know if I could ever do it, but these women have done it. So I want you to hear their stories, see their journey so that you understand that yes, you can do it too. And I want to know how you pronounce your first name because I don't want to butcher it.

Lissette: 

It is Lissette.

Liz Lima:

Consider that. Now my Portuguese would have kicked in and I would've said, Lissette that. But thank you for saying.

Lissette: 

Yes, well it's good. All right. I get it all the time. So even if I'm hearing Lissette or Lissette or whatever, I'm like, Yep, I'm here. What's up?

Liz Lima:

I hear you. Because my people, people, my people, people say my name wrong cause they always think it's Ellizabeth but it's actually Elisabet. But that's okay. I'm here. I'm with you. I feel it. Thank you for coming today. Really appreciate it.

Lissette: 

Thank you for having me.

Liz Lima:

Absolutely. So let's, let's tell our listeners a little bit about yourself. Like what is it that you are currently doing in business and how do you help people?

Lissette: 

Yeah. So it is definitely evolved about long story short, what I do in my business now is I work with women who have gone through traumas and it could be any type of trauma, doesn't necessarily have to be anything severe. But women who just want to let girls baggage want to let go, traumas, old wounds, old stories, and we do a ton of inner child healing work. So we go back, and we heal all of those things so that we can, so that they can have a better presence, a better future in regards to anything, right? So not even in their personal life, but also in their career. And that is the, the number one thing, the biggest thing that I do and I do it in with various different practices. So not only do I fall back on my foundation, which is I'm a licensed psychotherapist, licensed professional counselor, but I also use a various trainings that I've learned along the way, such as hypnosis, past life regression, Kundalini Yoga and things like that. And so we really go deep and it's beautiful.

Liz Lima:

Oh, that's awesome. So then, okay, so obviously the biggest question for me is how, why, like why, like why did you get into this work? Cause I'm sure that one day you didn't just say, you know, when you were fourth, this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to do you know, child's regression work and oh no, what was, tell me your story.

Lissette: 

No, that definitely didn't happen that way. And my story took a lot of different curves, a lot of different turns. So I will try to make it as simple as possible. But, I initially career wise, I initially started in the business sector so I got a degree in business because I thought, to take it, to take it back a little bit, I grew up very poor and so I lived in, in New York at the time with my parents and we lived in like the basement of a house. And so we were all kind of like in, you know, I shared a room with my sister, then I shared everyone with my older sister and then it was just like tons of sharings of rooms. And all I saw were my parents, you know, working two to three jobs. And so at that point in time, the first thing, so no, it wasn't at four years old, but I thought this is what I want to do for the rest of my life.

Lissette: 

But I knew that I didn't want to have that kind of life. And so I, you know, I kept thinking, what is it that I could, what is it that I can do for myself in order to be able to not live like this? But if I have children someday to be able to provide a better future for that. And I thought, well, business equals weddings so that we can go into that. And it helped me with the career. You know, I got a job immediately at the college that I was attending, but I knew very quickly that wasn't the space in place for me. So I went back to school and then ended up getting my degree in clinical mental health counseling.

Liz Lima:

Wow. So, okay. So then what was it that I liked this part because you're like, oh no, I want to do business. Right? Because that's where the money's at and you're doing it and you're like, this kind of is not me. Well, no, it is that. So can you go into that a little bit?

Lissette: 

So you know, I was working for a couple of years there and this is actually something that I've never spoken about and not because I hadn't wanted to, but it just never really came up. So while I was working at the college, I ended up, you know, first I was loving it because like here I am like 21 22 year old and I'm like making bank according to me, right? It's like I'm here. Like, you know, I'm working with, you know, a ton of older women and I'm like the youngest woman in the room, which on some level was a little intimidating, but at the same time I'm like, yes, you know, I have money in the bank, I can do whatever I want. So on and so forth. And my past. So we started creeping in. And so, you know, I, I don't know if you know a lot of my story, you know, I've written it on my website in regards to just like, you know, leaving my house when I was 16 years old and sort of going through my turmoil with that.

Lissette: 

And I can talk about that if you're interested in a little bit what I want to answer this question for you. So when I was at the college, I started to, from my perspective, get bullied by a supervisor there and every single time that I would go out to lunch, it would be like, what time is it? You are like literally one minute late. And I'm like, what is happening here? Because I didn't see it happening to anyone else and you know, I started to just take note of this over and over and over again and it won't happen every single day. So I was constantly watching my back. I felt like I couldn't do anything. I felt like I couldn't even go to the bathroom in peace because if I went to the bathroom for too long, I would get scolded. Right. And so for me, this, you know, obviously there was more to the surface for me because I had a past, I had my own traumas, my own dramas and things that I was running away from, things that I didn't want to touch upon at that point in time.

Lissette: 

And so I remember I would constantly come home and I was married at the time and I would come home crying from work. And I remember one day in particular there was this, it's actually a little bit of a funny story now, but we were having our house painted at the time and there was this gentleman that was painting the ceiling in our kitchen. And you know, I felt like I had just gotten lashed out at work. So I'm driving home trying to keep my composure because obviously I think as women were like, I'm not going to cry. I'm strong. Like I'm good, I've got this. So I'm like driving. And then I'm also like, well I can't drive in the car because people can see me through the windows thinking billion different things. And finally what I get home because that's where I felt safe with my husband.

Lissette: 

And I'm like, great, we have this dyed painting upstairs. But at this point I was like going to burst. Like I couldn't, I couldn't contain it anymore and now he wasn't doing that great of a job painting our house. So I remember, and this was something that like even years later I'll be like, Yep, he missed that spot. So he would clean, you know, the ceiling. I would start painting it. But around the light bulb, there's like circles around it where he clearly didn't paint around that section. So for me that was like the fuel to like kick them out of my house. So when I came home I like started balling and I'm like, and you can't even paint the ceiling. Right. And just like, clearly I was a hot mess.

Liz Lima:

Uh Huh. But that's, it was, that was the time, right?

Lissette: 

You were the time. And that was the only way that I had like, you know, the, for lack of a better word, the balls to kind of tell him that he was doing a crappy job. And so I started crying and he knew that it was coming because he said to me immediately, I knew that this was gonna happen. And so I'm laughing about it now. Obviously at that point it wasn't funny. So anyway, going back to your question, that's what I started to uncover, the bullying that had happened to me years prior and some of the things that I was running away from. And so it obviously follows you, right? So like you have one situation that happens in childhood, whether that be in school or whether that be in home life or whether that be even in your job. And what I think most of the time that people end up doing is they think, okay, I'm going to run away from this because it is this one person.

Lissette: 

And then we go somewhere else and we're doing great. Right? Like it's fabulous. You're high on life. And then all of a sudden the same situation happens over and over again. And that was me. So every single place that I would go to, I was great. I was living life and then something else would pop up for me. And it wasn't until I confronted her at this point because it had been years of this and I didn't think that I could do better. I didn't think that I can get it and you know, get out from, from the situation. And I was in graduate school at that point in time. So I was like, I'm stuck. I have to stay here financially until I can move on. And then one day that I had that conversation with her and I basically just said like, you are a bully.

Lissette: 

Like this is not okay for you to do this. And I just like went off on her and things changed obviously after that. And shortly I got my, my degree and I like just busted out of there as soon as I could. But that for me is, is what became part of the catalyst for why I do what I do today. Because it brought up all of this trauma, all of these things that I was running away from that finally, I was just like, I can't, I can't keep running away from this anymore. It was life was miserable for me.

Liz Lima:

Oh, right. Yeah. And it's like you said, it's if it's something that needs to be addressed and you keep running, agent's going to keep, it's going to keep appearing, right?

Lissette: 

Yeah. And it'll be different people. It'll be different situations. There's not going to look the same.

Lissette: 

Right. But I think we, we get so stuck on, you know, the fact that we think is this one particular person and most of the time when we have certain things happening to us on the surface, right. We think is just this one scenario. But there's so many things that it's, it's really a series of compounds [inaudible], right? So you have this one thing, like I said, something that happens to you at four years old, then something very similar happens to you when you were 10. Now, that event that happened when you were four is now solidify because you're like, yes, that is right. So whatever belief system that was created at that point in time, perhaps, maybe it was, I'm not safe, right. When something happens, you went to at 10 years old, you're like, and this is why I'm not safe.

Lissette: 

And then you're in like high school and something else happens at that point in time. Or like I knew it, I met, I can't open up, I can't be vulnerable, I can't speak to people. Right. And so we have these stories, yeah. That aren't real. Right. And they carry into adulthood. And then everything that happens to us on the surface, we immediately like lash out and we blame that particular person, that one person when really it was probably an event that happened. Like that's when it started.

Liz Lima:

Right. So then, okay, so, so that when you went to Grad school, you went, so, is that when you had your clinical counseling?

Lissette: 

Yes. So that's when we would have a, when we started practicing and that's when things really started to open up for me.

Liz Lima:

So then, but how did you, how did you figure that was where you were gonna go?

Liz Lima:

Because your Undergrad, right? Was Business, right? So how did you get, how did you get to that step? Because is it, were you not, were you not uncovering yet what was happening before?

Lissette: 

Not 100% know. So I was in this phase where I was slowly started to uncover everything, so, so I'll take it back a little bit. So I left my house at 16 years old. At this point in time, I was crying myself to sleep every night. I didn't want to live anymore. I remember, you know, writing letters to God and being furious with him for making me live the life that I was living at that point in time. And I was 16 15 16 years old. My parents had divorced when I was around 15 and that carried heavily for me. Like I carried so much weight around it and I was bullied.

Lissette: 

I was the odd man out. I was always called the crybaby because I was sensitive all the time, but I was just feeling things, you know, on a much bigger level than probably your average person. And no one understood that. I didn't even understand that at that time. So in the middle of the night when I was 16 I was sharing a room with my younger sister. At that time, I, for me, it was very normal to clean my room at all hours of the night because that's how I, I didn't know obviously at the time that that's what I was doing. But I was clearing space. I was clearing the energy, I was helping myself feel better. So that's something that I did all the time. Like it wasn't you're cleaning or rearranging my room or doing something. So at three in the morning, my younger sister wakes up and I'm in the closet and she says to me and Lissette, what are you doing?

Lissette: 

Like, what's happening? And I said to her, oh, don't worry Maryland. Like, I'm just, I'm just going to get the cause, like it's not a big deal, just go back to bed. So she's like, okay. And she goes back to bed. I grabbed everything that I could in a small book bag and I left the house and I never came back that night. For me, it was one of the scariest things that I had done in my entire life because I didn't know what the hell was going to happen after that. Right. But it was better to leave than to stay where I was because I was in such a deep state of depression that I honestly don't even want to think of what could have possibly happened at that point in time. I just, I didn't want to be there. Right. And for me, that was me saving myself.

Lissette: 

So that's when things started for me, when my new life, if you will. Stole it for me, and I had put myself through college, so this was when I started working at the college. When I put myself through, you know, I get, I got my associates degree at the college, my bachelor's degree at that college. Then I began working for that college and while I was working there, then I went to Grad school. So what shifted for me? What you're asking? You know, it honestly felt like it came out of nowhere for me. So even though I was someone that felt like I just carried so much heaviness throughout the years, childhood, Middle School, high school, I was always the person that people came to ask for help. Even in my family. Right. So when there was a situation that was happening in the household, it was Lissette, this person's not doing this Lissette, you know, mom's yelling at me and what's happening with this?

Lissette: 

Like from every single direction, I would get people that would ask me for assistance and sometimes I would go out and it would seem like I had like therapists like taped to my forehead because random strangers and people would come talk to me about things. I'm not going to tell them. I'm like, listen, I can't even take care of my own crap. Like I cannot handle yours. But it was something that came very easily for me. And I started to feel like, wow, this feels really good. You know? And at that point in time I was very naive. I didn't even know that there was like a thing like that you could even provide services by, you know, doing therapy. That wasn't even something that ever crossed my mind because for a long time that was a burden for me to help other people and assist other people as a burden.

Lissette: 

Something switched. I don't know what it was. I did have a friend who was a lot older than me and we became like sisters at the college and she was a therapist there at the college. And so she was a little bit like of a mentor to me. And so I would ask her, you know, like what, what do you do and how does this help people and all of these other things. And as I started to watch her and started to watch them, all the things that she would do, something clicked and something was like, like, Lissette, you've been doing this all of your life without you even knowing that this is something that you, that you've been doing. And so I just went with that hunch. Didn't even know if it was going to be completely right for me, but I just said, you know what?

Lissette: 

I'm going to do it because I'm not happy where I am now. I'm being bullied by a supervisor here. Like just, just F and do it. I did. So that's what shifted for me, but it was everything. You know, when people ask me that question, I always look at it as like, it was just a vibe. It was just divine guidance and I took the guidance because everything that I've done in my career, all of the certifications that I have, I couldn't even tell you what brought me to those things. But something brought me something that there was just like this little nudge that said, go do that. Wait, go over there. Talk to that person and it was just listening to that each time.

Liz Lima:

So then, and I totally agree with you with like, you know, the flow and divine messages, you know, and you get the hunches, right. So, then my question is, did you feel any of that when you were going through your associate's and your bachelor's?

Lissette: 

No, not at all. And my mind wasn't open to those things because I was in survival mode. Right. So like I said, I left my house at 16. From that moment on, it was survival. It was how do I take care of myself? What do I do to do to just like, cause I was living by myself, not for the entire period. When I first moved down, I moved in with my boyfriend and his mom and then, you know, things happened. We ended up breaking up and then I was by myself. So for a very long time I was living on my own. So it was like, I need to pay rent, I need to pay all of these things that the kid at that age, most people are still living at home.

Lissette: 

They're not thinking about surviving and taking care of themselves and having food to eat. You know what? All of these things, and I was still going to school, so I was going to school full time and working full time because that's all I knew. Right? I saw my parents working their asses off. They were working hard, so I knew how to work hard and I knew how to make money even if I had to scratch for it. Right. And so that, that's that was the mentality that I was coming from. And so many people would say to me like, wow, that was so much that you went through. And I'm like, no, I just had to, Like I had no choice. Right? Like it's, it's not something that I didn't ask for that it was something that I had to do just to live life.

Lissette: 

It was something that I had to do to survive. And so during that course I was still running away because I didn't want to. So even though I had this little book bag that I carry with me, right. I was literally carrying all of my pain and all of my traumas with me too, whether I realized it or not, and I was not ready to impact that back. At all. Yeah. So what did I do? I went down this path of drinking alcohol. That's when I socialized. I had alcohol in my hands, I had beer or you know, wine, whatever it was. The harder, the better. So that I didn't have to unpack that book bag that I carry it with me. So when I was going to school again, it was survival for me. So even though I was like, okay, you know, I'm in school and I'm looking at all of these kids who are, you know, even there I felt like the odd man out because I'm like living on my own, doing things on my own.

Lissette: 

And I'm looking at all of these kids who, who, you know, are still living at home. Right. And they were being kids. And I don't have anything against that because I like, even till this day, I'm like, I would have loved to live that way, but that just wasn't mine. And that's okay. But I'm looking at them and I'm like, what are you guys doing? Cause I don't, cause I was already like a grandmother at that point in time, at least five months out. I'm like, no, I'm going to bed at this time. I got to do this homework. Like, you know, and all this other stuff. I was an adult at 16. You're much earlier actually, but yeah.

Liz Lima:

Right. Wow. So then, yeah, that's two the strength you had because you, like you said, you had to do it right. That was, that's, you had to do it, you had to survive. So you're in survival mode. And did you ever feel at any point, did you ever feel like finally like calmness too? Did when did that ever happen or has it happened? Like, have you ever hit that point of calmness?

Lissette: 

Right? So yes and no, right? Like today I have my own daily practice that no if, ands or buts. I don't care if I'm like a dying because I'm sick. So when I had the flu, when we were talking initially about, you know, getting together in weeks ago, that killed me. But every single morning I got up and I did my meditation, I did my practice. Well for me, you know, I practice what I preach. I don't just tell people, you know, like I don't just write prescriptions and then tell people like, here you go and then I'm not doing that. So No, to answer that question, no, I didn't have calmness because I was still in this place of running away from all of my traumas, running away from everything. But I looked good on the outside. Right. So like I had my shit together.

Lissette: 

I had everything together. So everybody from the outside thought I was doing good. Even my own family. So like when I left, right. And it was after that, you know, then I started to sour, well not salvage, but begin to take care of and nourish some of those relationships and so from, because I didn't want anybody to know that it was like dying inside. And so even at that point in time, no, there was no calm. Like I was literally dying inside and there were so many moments that I would be around family members and I would be around friends and I would be about around strangers. People wouldn't even know me that would constantly say to me afterwards because they didn't, they would never say it to my face, but I would hear it from other people. And then perhaps like later on once the person got to know me, they would say, man, I thought you were really stuck up.

Lissette: 

That's what I would get all the time. And like what, who me? And it was because I showed people this fake life. I had my shit together. In other words, I was perfect. I was dying inside and I had so much anxiety and that's what people didn't know. And so when it was this perception that they thought that I was stuck up and I didn't want to talk to them, it was because I didn't know how it was because I was freaking out inside even though you couldn't see it. And I didn't even know how to just like say hi and talk to people about how they were doing cause I wasn't taught any of those things. Right. And I'm not blaming anybody for all of those things because those are things that we learn as adults. Right? Like as an adult, it's not about blaming your childhood, but it's about healing it and working through it.

Lissette: 

Because today you have a choice. But those were the things that I was dealing with and where I had turmoil. And then for me, my belief system was it's not safe to be seen. Right? Like I can't be seen and if I am seeing you show them what you want them to say.

Liz Lima:

So it was your own defense mechanism.

Lissette: 

It was my own defense mechanisms. So called no calm, never existed in my life because even if I, even if I looked like I was, call him outside inside my head was going a hundred miles a minute. Right. Time like thinking about this and thinking about this and thinking about this and worry about this person and worried about that person because I still hadn't healed my own stuff. Right. I met those twice where I'd healed a lot of things now. Right. And this was after in my graduate program when you had asked me that question earlier was when I finally got my job in, in that career, in that field, and I was working for an agency and I would constantly get women that would come through my door that were dealing with addictions, that were, that had extensive and severe trauma histories and everything in between.

Lissette: 

And at that point I was still like, no, I'm good. I've got nothing wrong with me. I have a, okay, I'm here to help these people. There's nothing wrong with me.

Lissette: 

I couldn't sleep at night because their stories were literally killing me. And that's when I sent to myself, you know what, I think there's something there. I think there's something I need to open up. I think there's something that I need to talk about and that's when I started my healing path and my healing journey. And so you're good.

Lissette: 

So what I was gonna say is to answer your very first question cause you kind of needed to know that in order for me to be able to answer this for you is this is why I do what I do. Right? So, to take it back, the reason why I do what I do is because I want to be able to help another woman or another child. Even men, I work with men as well. Even though, you know, primarily I work with women, but for me it's, if I can help someone else and not have to go through that pain that went through and realize that they're not alone because I felt very much alone. I felt like people didn't understand me. I felt like people like I couldn't relate to anyone. And there's so many people out there that are going through that same story and that have gone through what I've gone through, perhaps worse. And this isn't, you know, this, it's not a contest. It's not about who had the worst trauma because we've all gone through trauma. We all have baggage. We all have things that we need to uncover and just let go of. But that's why I do what I do and

Liz Lima:

And always comes in the, this I love this saying is where when you learn to heal your wounds is when you can help others. Right?

Lissette: 

Absolutely.

Liz Lima:

And that's what you did. Did you ever once think, cause this, this is what I'm thinking, but did you ever want to think that you were attracting yourself in those women?

Lissette: 

Oh hell yes. At the time. Of course not. Right? Because like I was telling you, I'm still like, I invited you thinking that like I have nothing bothering my life. But yeah, absolutely. And as I look at it now and even people that come through my doors today, you know, they are, they are people that have gone through what I went through and I'm like, Yup, I know this story very well and I can speak to it very well. Or there are people that are still showing that are showing me things that I need to look at, right. Either perhaps things that I need to strengthen or just reminders. There'll be certain things that I will say to people and I'm like, Oh shit. Yeah, I need to hear that. That was kind of for me too.

Liz Lima:

Oh, I got to come up with that all the time. But isn't it, but isn't it just so amazing how it works? Like the energy, the vibration and, and it's just, it's showing you here it is. And if you kind of miss it, it's going to come again.

Lissette: 

Absolutely. And it does. And it'll continue to come. You know, just like we were talking about earlier, it's going to continue to come. And I think one of the most beautiful things, and this is for everybody who's, you know, coaching, doing therapy, you know, if you're in the behavioral health world, medical field, it doesn't matter what it is. Like I don't care if your, you know, a personal trainer at a gym like each and every single one of us has a story to tell. And along with that is so much healing that can be created out of that just with that one person that you have sitting in front of you. So yeah, the more you heal your own wounds, the more open you are to be able to help people on a bigger scale. Or even just that one person that's right in front of you. Otherwise you're going to be closed off. And what you're going to do is you're going to take on that person's, you know, if you don't have, if you can't heal yourself, then you're not going to have healthy boundaries. Right. And if you have healthy boundaries, then you are literally going to take on everybody's trauma. You're going to take on everybody's illness and you're going to take on all of their worries and all of their walls, right? So how in the world are you going to be able to live your life

Lissette: 

And do the work that you need to do in this lifetime? If you can't even heal your own stuff.

Liz Lima:

Absolutely. And one thing too, I did a podcast on, this is exactly what you're saying about that one person, right? If you're not, if you're not healed yourself and that open to help anyone, right? It doesn't matter who he's like you said many one, it doesn't matter, but everyone has an impact on this world. Everyone. Right? And, and sometimes I feel that people don't believe that or they don't even think of it, right? You, the, if you heal yourself, you heal, you know, you healed yourself and then look at the impact you have on those women. And then imagine, or you know, whoever your clients are, but then the impact that you have on them, that you're healing them inside out. It's not just their own healing. Then how are they with their spouses? And their children in their family. Right,

Lissette: 

Right. And it carries into every single relationship. And one of the things that you know that as you were talking, I'm like, yes, yes, yes, 100% because what happens is, you know, and I'm from the perception that I'm doing what I do because I love what I do and for me, if it's just one person that I can reach, I know that that person is then going to take that home. Right. Perhaps not everybody's going to be receptive or open to it because I think a lot of the times we'll work healing. We think it's like the best thing since sliced bread. Right? And we're just like, we're shoving it down people's throat. It's like they're not even ready for that. Right. Like that happens all, and I did that. I think we, we've all gone through that, especially when we're healing. We're like, you need to listen to all these 10 podcasts doing it today and like start writing down all these things. Oh, we got to do affirmations. It's like you're going to overwhelm people. You're gonna overwhelm yourself. Yeah. One of the things that I think is the biggest issue, and this goes back to again with many belief is that people think that they're not great enough.

Lissette: 

So the reason why, you know, as as a, as a potential client or just another person out there, I don't think that I'm going to have impacts because perhaps I'm not good enough. Right. And if I'm not good enough, I mean, how else do you think that that's carrying in the rest of your life? Like you said, your spouse, your partners, your children, your family, your neighbors. Right? That belief system that again, perhaps happened when you were four or five years old. That's when it was created, right? Somewhere along the lines, somebody told you that you weren't good enough, or perhaps they were like, you know, when this family, we're not good enough. Right? How many did we hear that where it's like, well, we don't make money in this family. We're cursed in this family. Or that's not us. That's, that's the Joneses next door, you know? But the rules don't get that. Right. And I think these are things that happen all the time and we don't know what's going on at that point in time. But that's when the seed is planted.

Lissette: 

Right. And so then all of these things that happen to you later on and say I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough, I'm not good enough. Who will guess what? That's what you're playing out in adulthood. Right. So even if you are the clerk at a stop and shop or you are somebody who works at the, at the top of your firm, you can still make an impact. And sometimes it's just about modeling behaviors.

Lissette: 

It's not, you know, I think sometimes people get in this place where they think like they have to be doing something huge. In order for it to be seen as like I am making impacts. But honestly if you take care of yourself and you just focus on you, people are going to look at your, they're going to say, why have you been doing? You seem happier lately, right? Like you seem to be attracting so many good things. And so many good people like what is up, that's when you talk about it. And that, that creates a huge impact.

Liz Lima:

Yup. I love how you said that, that people sometimes think that it, that it has to be this big, huge thing. And I just, spoke about this in my group on Facebook this morning where I said, I'm asking people what their struggles were. Like what does that thing that they feel that's holding them back? And two things on this one. You know, we are very obviously clearly we are like same kind of people because we are doing this, right? We are, we have a business, we're helping women, you know, men, clients, whatever. But we're on the same, we're on the, that path of thought, right? We are the, we know we can, we've done, we are doing right. Like, and, but then it's like, oh wait a minute. You know, there may be some people that, you know, there may be some woman in their lives where they haven't there, where we were back there, right.

Liz Lima:

Where they may not even think about a goal or they want to strive for something, right? But I loved how you said, it doesn't have to be this big, huge thing because I even said that today where it's like you don't have to, you don't have to stay. Okay, well, clearly I'm not making an impact because I don't want to build a seven figure business, right? Who Cares? It doesn't have to be that I want to feel good about myself, where I actually take five minutes and sit down and close my eyes and actually say, okay, I'm good. Like everything is great. Let me meditate. Right? Because you feel great from that and you're going to go down and help whoever's going to be around you, just like you said. Right?

Lissette: 

Right. And so that leads me back to, you know, Abraham Hicks, right? And they talk so much about staying on this high flying disc. So what are you doing when you're meditating? Right? Like you're, you're raising your vibration, right? Like you're on this high flying disc, as they say. And so some thing's going to take you out throughout the day, whatever that is. Whether it's that person that cut you off on the highway, whether it was that person that you know screamed at you, whether it was that person that spilled coffee on you by accident, hopefully not hot, right? But you know, all of these things are going to take you off if something is going to happen. Like your spouse is going to say something, your kids are going to do something like you're going to get that call from school.

Lissette: 

It doesn't matter what it is, but it is as much as you're on this high flying disc where you're feeling good, where you're in the vortex so to speak, this is what they say, right? Like, and to me vortex means like you connecting with your higher self, your higher being, whatever that looks like to you. Right? For some people it's, it's God. For other people it's something else. But the more you are connected to that, that greater feeling of goodness, right? Laughter immediately puts you in that space. The more you begin to get the, the doors being held open for you when you're walking in the bank, right? The person when you're going to the Dunkin donuts or Starbucks line all of a sudden like buys you that drink and you're like, Whoa, I'm having an amazing day today. Right? But those are things that you can have more frequently.

Lissette: 

No, but it's because you have taken care of yourself throughout that day. Right. And taking care of yourself doesn't necessarily mean like I have to meditate every single day because that may not be your thing. That's fine. It could be on going, running outside, it could be on weightlifting, it could be I am just setting boundaries for myself today. Like that is it. That is all self care. I'm watching a movie that's a comedy that just makes me laugh my ass off. Like all of those things are beautiful and all of those things are self care. But you're absolutely right. It doesn't have to be this huge thing. It doesn't have to be, not everybody wants to have a seven figure business. Like, that's not even, that's not even a thing for everybody. Right. And that's okay. It doesn't have to be that

Liz Lima:

It's, and it took me a long time to be at peace and understand that just like you said, like it may not be an hour meditation for me every day. Right. But even the little things where it's like, I love to commit to, I'm going to write in my journal five minutes in the morning, right when I wake up right there by my bed. I'm not doing any get up. I do, I breathe, I sent her and then I'm like, okay, I'm gonna, you know, fill out my journal. And I do. Right. And that's the same thing and I think that that needs to be stressed more, I think because I don't think that's stressed enough. Where about self care? Yeah. A lot of people are preaching self care now, but I don't think there, a lot of people assume that it is the meditation in self hypnosis and the breathing and the other things, like you said, like watching a movie like, yeah, right. Go for a walk.

Lissette: 

That's self care. Because how many times, I mean if even look at the entrepreneurial space, right. And I think you've probably seen so much about this, you know, on social media and I think we all have, because social media I think is like a part of our lives and now I have so many things to say about that, but that's not today's conversation. But one of the things that we see all the time, it's like it goes from one extreme to the other, right? So like we either see people working their asses off on social media, right? And it's like, oh, I just landed, you know, a speaking gig or whatever and all of these things, it's okay. Well when was the last time that you actually watched the company? When was the last time you actually sat with your, with your spouse and really had a conversation about your niece?

Lissette: 

Right? When was the last time that you actually, I don't know, did nothing, Instead of it being where you are constantly going, going, going, going, going and doing. Because one of the things that I've noticed for myself specifically, right? Like I can only speak for myself, one of the things that I've seen a lot is that when we are constantly going, going, going and thinking that that's what we have to strive for because that's what success means. Literally running away from something, but you are running away from something at that point in time and sometimes it's looking at yourself and saying, okay, what is it that you know, and sometimes again, you could be on this like high flying disc even when you're doing work and just being in the zone and I'm getting all these things done, but if it's something that you feel like you have to do, I think that's the difference, right? Like I have to do this because that's what all of social media says that I have to do on all of these entrepreneurs say that I have to do that, right? Or, or these big wigs, whatever it is. And, but if it's something that feels like a sucking the life out of you, then you're running away from something, If there's something that you're running away from a conversation that you have to have with someone, trauma, old baggage limiting stories, it doesn't matter what it is.

Liz Lima:

Yup. Agree. 100% because I, that was, I was guilty of that years ago. Totally. And then when it finally, when you're finally in alignment, things are starting to happen. It's no more of this struggle, struggle, pushing right head against the wall all the time. That was me. Like I couldn't even take five minutes. I remember perfectly to this day, I had, one o'clock appointment with my mentor. She was hypnotherapist, Reiki, master, all this stuff. I had a one o'clock appointment. I literally came home from something else and it was 12:38 I remember. And I said, shit, I have this time from 12:30 until five of one that I had to drive to go there. I didn't know what I was going to do with myself.

Liz Lima:

I was like, Oh crap, what am I going to do now? I don't even know how to fill this time.

Lissette: 

And that's so true. And I think that is more true for women than it is for men.

Lissette: 

Because I think, you know, as women, you know, not only are, I mean things have shifted obviously, right? Like back then it was the woman was taken care of the household, right? Like the kids cooking, cleaning, doing all those things. And that hasn't gone. Right? So like those things are still there. So now it's like the woman is in, you know, the career space and even if you're not, I think holy shit, that's a lot of work anyway. We're going to still be doing that alone in and of itself because it gets really lonely being at home by yourself all day long and you're just constantly taking care of everyone's needs and not taking care of your own. Right. But if you're doing all of that and then you have this, you know, thing that you have to uphold too, because that's what the world says that you have to do.

Lissette: 

And that's what society says you have to do. And that's the social media sites that you have to do. Like you're, you're gonna drive yourself nuts. If you're not producing, then it means you're not successful. Right. So it doesn't always have to correlate to like, oh my God, I'm running from this severe trauma that I've had. Right. But what does success mean to me? It can be something as, as simple as that. Right? Like if I'm not doing something every single minute of every single day, then is my spouse going to say that I was lazy? Right. Is My mentor going to say, well, you didn't do enough. And I think a lot of that goes back to, again, projections, right? Like we feel that people are going to judge us. We feel like we're not successful enough if we don't look like so and so, or we don't do things the way that that person is doing it.

Lissette: 

Right. And I think sometimes we'd have to scale back. I had it. I had someone who, it brought me back to this, to this story because I ran a Kundalini Yoga workshop and it was an eight week long group and I had someone in that group that said, you know, I'm seeing my naturopath, I'm seeing my energy healer, I'm seeing all of these people and I feel like I'm just like running myself into the ground and nothing is fucking changing, right? Like she's just like really upset in the room and I'm like, honey, first off, stop doing all that shit. No Shit. Yeah, you're doing too much. Right? And I said to her like, does that, does that fill you up? You know, like doing all of those things, does that really fill you up? Like go into your natural paths doing all of these things, like first thing, get rid of all of those things.

Lissette: 

Because I think sometimes when we, when we're in this space of constantly thinking about all of our ailments and all of our roles and all of the things that we have to heal, guess what? You're in a negative space if you're not in alignment. And it's not to say to run away from me because I am a preacher. I do not run away from your shit. Like we need to feel it. Right. We don't always have to be there. Right? Like you can, you can be there for a specific amount of time, a lot time, whatever it is for you to journal, for you to feel free to cry for you to whatever it is that you need to do. And then flip the switch so that you're feeling better. And I think this is what people forget all the time, is they think like, oh, I have to ignore all of my issues and I have to feel good and I have to be successful and I have to do all of these things.

Lissette: 

And doesn't work. It doesn't really get, it literally doesn't work. So sometimes self care is scaling back. Not doing all of those crazy things that we're doing right. And having a healer, a therapist, a yoga teacher, a personal trainer and all of these things. And not to say that those aren't helpful, but if you are literally in this space of, like the the woman, the woman that I was talking about, like this is just too much for me and don't do it. Like do what lights you up and if you don't know what that is, start figuring it out.

Liz Lima:

Yeah. Take one step. You're not going to jump up a staircase. You're going to take one step at a time. Yeah. Right. Yeah. That's awesome.

Lissette: 

And I think a lot of what happens too, I think with that situation, like this could be like a 10 hour story, but I think a lot of what happens is that people are not seeing immediate results.

Lissette: 

And so they think, well, if I'm not working every second of every day and if I'm not doing all of these things that these, you know, Goudas are telling me that I have to do, then again success. Right. I'm not good enough. I'm not worthy. All of these things that come up, which again, Ding, Ding, ding, our childhood things people don't realize. All of these things are things that are coming up for people. Right. And it's like you have to look at that. We have to work through that.

Liz Lima:

Yup. Oh this is awesome. We have, we definitely have to have a follow up on this and I did have a follow up interview

Lissette: 

For sure. There's so much to talk about. Is there,

Liz Lima:

Is there anything you feel that I wasn't able to touch upon that you wanted to speak about today?

Lissette: 

Oh my goodness, there's, so, there's so much that I think we talked about today that I'm like, I don't know if there's anything that we left behind.

Lissette: 

I guess the biggest thing that I would say is for anybody who right now is in this space, like where you and I were, you know, several years ago where it's almost like, do you feel like you're just literally drowning? Right. Cause that's when I felt like everything was just falling on top of me. I was, you know, all of these illnesses I was just attracting somehow. I'm just, if it, if it feels like you just can't get out, first off, do whatever it is that you need to do for that particular day, even if it's five minutes to get yourself to that space, right. Of just feeling good for five minutes. Even if you just have that five minutes per day, it doesn't matter because you've given yourself that one thing. Right. And it's making sure and really just connecting and understanding that success doesn't happen overnight.

Lissette: 

Right. And I don't mean success if you're a business owner, I need just success period. Right. Like we look at all of these people who all of a sudden seem like their overnight successes, but most of the time we don't realize that they literally have put in 10 years of work to do all of the stuff that they're right. And it's not about, you know, and I'm one of those people where it's like, if I'm not seeing results, I'm like, come on, we gotta get this program rolling because that's who I've always been. That's not who I am today. Every once in a while I see myself like teetering to that. It's about breaking those habits and it's okay. There's nothing wrong with that. The other thing that I would say is that goes hand in hand with that, and I think when you're in the space of healing wounds, when you're in this space of working through your Traumas, your travels, whatever that might be, sometimes you might have to do it alone and that is really scary because if you're already in this space of feeling alone, feeling like no one understands you, feeling like you can't connect with everyone or anyone for that matter.

Lissette: 

It's scary to know that sometimes I'm going to have to walk this path alone, but what I can tell you is that even though that was my experience, which may not be everybody's experience, my experience was first you have to get to this place where you are tired of living the life that you're living. Right? So for me it was I needed to get to this space where I was tired of going through the same thing that I was going through every single day. Right? Like you have to want to live a better life for yourself more than the shitty life that you are currently living and get right more than the misery that you're living in. And even if your friends may not want to go to that event, right? Or your spouse doesn't want to go to that talk or somebody else doesn't want to listen to that podcast that you're listening to, just do it anyway.

Lissette: 

Because what's going to happen is you're going to find that group of people that also feels the same way like you. Cause that is inevitable because again, it's like attracts like when we were talking about earlier, right? It was a law of attraction or at least a part of it. There's so much more to to that. So the law of attraction, but you're gonna find when you're, when you're here in this space, right? Like let's say you started here and you're doing all of these things, you're growing, right? It may be very small and sometimes it may go up and down and that's okay. There's still progress because you're still going up. Then you've got to start to find people that are going to be meeting you here. Instead of the people that are meeting you here, right. The people that are manipulating you, the people that are taking advantage of you, the people that are, you know, not caring about you as a person.

Lissette: 

Once you're up here, there's no way that you're going to be able to meet them there. Right. They're either going to have to rise up and meet you where you are or you're going to call in people that are going to be there that aren't going to want, like genuinely want better for you. Don't do it. Those are my two biggest things is I'm doing it anyway. Do it alone. If you have to, because you're gonna find your tribe, you're gonna find your people and don't worry about what success looks like because for every single person, success is going to be different and you literally have to take that next step. Like you said, it's one step at a time.

Liz Lima:

Awesome. Oh, this is great. Yeah. We'll definitely have to have another episode. How can people find you? I'm going to put this all in the show notes, but how can people find you and find out more about you and what you're doing?

Lissette: 

Yeah, so I'm all over the place, but my websites, we'll narrow people down. There is LissetteLarue.com . So Lissette Larue dot com they can read a little bit more about my story. There and everything that I do and the way that I work with people is literally on there. And if people still have questions after that and they want to connect with me, there's a little contact button on my website and while you get to me,

Liz Lima:

Oh, thank you so much. This was incredible. Thank you.

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